Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
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Top comments
AmeOwl 0
Movie's like twilight have truly corrupted girls' ability to separate fiction from reality. In reality world, even a guy in love is probably not going to sit there staring at his girlfriend while she sleeps. And that's good, because it's kind of creepy.
Kingdutch 3
That's one unexpected answer
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Comments (71)
LeverPuller 5
My boyfriend watches me sleep. But that's because he's nice enough to scratch my head (MAJOR relaxer for me) until I fall asleep every night I'm with him. ... So, he's really just got nothing else to look at lol. But yeah that whole scenario is kind of creepy. Because of you for asking that question. And because of him for his reaction to your farting being to stare at you, waiting for you to wake up. He should have just slept on the couch or something.
jts2 3
LeverPuller completely beat me to it. *sigh*`
LeverPuller 5
What did I beat you to? Posting my sappy BS, or calling the boyfriend a creeper? |D
patticake1601 0
farting is normal...YOU ALL DO IT!
Reyo 2
Technically...that's considered fishing for compliments. Try doing less of that in the future.
ericalew_xo 0
Girls don't fart or shit. Everyone knows that!
fancypantsninja 0
Dont be stupid ... just because were hot and stuff doesnt mean we dont fart and poop on a daily basis just like guys do
LeverPuller 5
The whole point of that post was to be funny. You're ruining the funny by stating what everyone already knows. Stop it. Just stop it.
Starfire22 5
Well he was honest... I feel it's creepy when someone stares at me *shudder* iwould ask WTF the problem? Lol
Cristaderzi 0
I second the Beano Idea!! And laxatives throughout the day EVERY DAY!!
telfie 0
YDI for asking if he was staring "because he was in love."
mon_e_mons 0
that's what you get for those late night burritos
jessxoxo28 5
LOL! he should have just slept on the couch instead of staring at u, lmao
supernoob 0
too much butt sex????