Anonymous
Fremont, United States
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Seriously
United States
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
Anonymous
Bedminster, United States
Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML
helen_
United States
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Anonymous
Margate City, United States
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
lhazel
Mount Juliet, United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML
username
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Elkhart, United States
How about…
Today, my father told me to "go get a job." He has been unemployed for three years. FML
Wheredigowrong
Ankeny, United States
Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML
Anonymous
Schaumburg, United States
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Next step
Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML
Anonymous
Katy, United States
Bad influence
Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML
Top comments
AyeJay101 25
See, they need to teach kids the difference between unemployed and retired. Because who doesn't want to retire and live life instead of working
FilleNoir 21
Well he's not too far off. People live off the government for their whole lives. Hopefully he doesn't become that when he gets older though and just doesn't know better.
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Comments (31)
darshini_ii 24
That is something that needs to be checked. .
peeta0330 18
Well, maybe he wants to win the lottery and not have to work
Purexinsanity 46
But then wouldn't he have put down "rich"?
skyttlz 32
Who doesn't want that? :P
HoboMeth 36
Tell him your goal for him is to kick him out then
ssnow_fml 20
At least he has an idea of what he wants to be
Miss_Chevious 37
Why is this in the 'intimacy' section? Shouldn't it be 'kids' ?
FilleNoir 21
Well he's not too far off. People live off the government for their whole lives. Hopefully he doesn't become that when he gets older though and just doesn't know better.
iSativa 24
Don't worry OP, he'll change his major once the hunger kicks in
AyeJay101 25
See, they need to teach kids the difference between unemployed and retired. Because who doesn't want to retire and live life instead of working
Goblin182 27
Well, it does seem to be pretty profitable these days.
WOTAN1488 24
Wow he already knows what he wants to be!