Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML
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Top comments
caancoha 0
Oh, look. He's watching you sleep.
IMB916 0
YDI for having such bad taste in men.
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Comments (300)
eleni_fml 0
ew
remy_xi 0
You deserve it for buying into someone like that. Not only is he unattractive, he's also sort of depressed and depressing.
natabeast 6
Wouldn't you be too if you had to have Kristen Stewart on your arm 24-7?
dudeitsdanny 10
I agree. FPattinson'sL. OP deserves it. What a creeper.
Neon_POP 0
Yo, Robert Pattinson, I'm really happy, I'mma let you finish, but Taylor Lautner is sexier than you!
dudeitsdanny 10
You know... I'm a straight guy... And I understand how girls find some guys attractive... But I will never understand how girls find Robert Pattinson attractive. **Supposed to be a reply to #15
nishi_fml 0
I'm a girl, and I don't find him the least bit attractive. It might help him a little if he'd wash himself, though I doubt it.
Miss_Jeannie 0
I'm a woman and I don't find him attractive at all. Never did, never will. He just looks brooding and...greasy. Honestly, he looks icky to touch.
cherylface 13
Strangely enough, I was having a conversation about this earlier. I do not find him attractive at all, and neither did my friend. I don't understand it either.
JustAReaderOfFml 4
why is everyone being so shallow? who cares whether or not you find him physically attractive. we don't know the real him so lets not go making judgements about him based entirely on his looks.
nishi_fml 0
I think it's because it always turns out like this in most any fandom. Some people don't give a damn about personality anymore, and that's just sad.
cherylface 13
#43: It's not so much that I am being shallow as that I am sick of hearing people always talking about how "hot" he is. I'm saying nothing about the guy, just that he's not attractive.
nishi_fml 0
That is also very true.
JustAReaderOfFml 4
it just seems harsh to call someone unattractive. especially since that sort of thing is subjective.
loto_fml 3
Re: 43. It's equally as shallow to like him only because of his looks. Since I doubt any fangril knows him on a personal level, they can only go by looks. It works both ways ;) OP: YDI so hard.
Firesprite2009 0
My cousin && OP would get a long great. -.- My cousin practically kisses the ground he walks on, yet before Twilight, she wasn't interested. I loved the novels of Twilight, but why the hell does almost every girl who watches the film want a guy like Edward? :o He's TOO perfect. & problem is? There is no guy perfect enough to play the part of Edward, which is why the film should probably have never been made, because either way, no-one would be completely satisfied with it.
RyanKaufman 7
That guy who died in Harry Potter? Why would you have a pillow of him? Clearly he hasn't done anything of importance aside from that.
daydreamstar 7
harry potter FTW!!!!
borabora1991 0
win.
cals 0
hey, he's dead in both movies. necrophile!
dudeitsdanny 10
#21 is awesome.
doodles88 0
you are just asking for YDI...
slysendice 3
YDI for getting a pillowcase of him anyways... stupid ****...
LissaMccracken 23
Why the hell would you say she's a stupid **** over it?
Isabelletje 0
Yaaaaaay Twilight fan! :D
_Mazza_ 0
Because they are so rare these days.
borabora1991 0
How do you know the OP is a Twilight fan? Maybe he/she just likes Cedric Diggory.
hannahleigh 0
yeah... with a pillow case like that are you really having a lot of men spending the night?
fatalkiss 0
this