Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
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Top comments
OcampoFTW 4
At least she told you bout it
danford80 0
Wow. Anytime a conversation starts with please don't be mad or we need to talk it never ends well!!
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Comments (207)
richardcard82 5
You got the skivvies lol
MyWhangZinYu 3
Burn, sucks for you hope it's not the clap
DelilahV 0
YDI for making love to someone you're not in love with.
auddylynne 0
Omg ur life Sux! Bahaha that's y u should hook up and have one night stands :P u should get tested-hope it turns out alright-be smarter next time :)
auddylynne 0
Meant to say that's y u should NOT hook up and have one night stands lol
rasta_pasta 4
And people shouldn't eat junk food for every meal, that being said they certainly don't want someone else telling them how to live their lives.
nero9112 4
If she refers to your penis and testicles as "private parts", then she is too young for sex.
lolwtfwasthat 0
I'd of said it's okay! Then I'd of hooked up with her agian I mean you have it anyway
TheNewGuy03 29
No.
caitlyndeon18 10
Or not having a one night stand at all.
caitlyndeon18 10
Or not having a one night stand at all.
KrisNico03 4
That dirty *****...but YDI if you ****** her without any protection OP.
TheNewGuy03 29
I'd say that the news is equally bad for both things. I'm sure no one likes to find out that they're going to have to treat some incurable menacing malady until they inevitably succumb to it in a few years. |the kid|
skatingalyy 0
omg how can she expect you to not be mad?!
natashapower 5
Maybe u should try out for Jersey Shore