Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
OcampoFTW 4
At least she told you bout it
danford80 0
Wow. Anytime a conversation starts with please don't be mad or we need to talk it never ends well!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (207)
HushHushKeeKat 0
"But she looked clean..."
HushHushKeeKat 0
Oh wait, one more thing: "ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND MEEEEE..." Yup.
wriptidez 0
I am rathersure that its illegal not to tell your partner that you have an STD ....
KnucklesDeep 5
Think with the brain in your head and you might not have to suffer from something like this in the future. But for this one, I hope you REALLY suffer.
professorxfm 7
That's why it's important to use protection always! Doesn't sound like you did since you seem worried!
xXSecondSunXx 3
Ewww :P I suggest getting your partners tested before sleeping with them. Its always easier to prevent than to cure.
GlitteryMasakali 1
Hellogoodbyex : I love your picture!!:D
kzalone 0
Good job.
jaderosaley 0
When she gives you affection You better wear protection!
americiato 2
condoms exist
DelilahV 0
This is the wisest, most insightful comment on the board.