Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
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Top comments
OcampoFTW 4
At least she told you bout it
danford80 0
Wow. Anytime a conversation starts with please don't be mad or we need to talk it never ends well!!
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Comments (207)
mattdm91 0
You can take her ass to court for not telling you but regardless you should of wrapped it up
a_nutritionist 10
youre assuming she knew about it prior to messaging him. if she didnt she has no responsibility to inform him.
mattdm91 0
That was my assumption. That shit dies happen.
AnnaBonJovi 9
in that case maybe she actually got it from OP and doesn't realis
tybtab 5
General Rule: Take a look first. If you just gag a little thats fine. If you puke, GTFO of there.
mattdm91 0
*does
sandmancometh 3
Congrats. You are now the proud owner of herpes....
Enigmax2514 7
U have been warned
TheJawsman 18
She told him two days after the fact to expect something...something tells me she knew already.
bettyc4 26
don't be a fool and wrap your tool! also tell her " please don't be mad but I told your mom I may have passed onto her whatever you gave me"
MoutainDrewski 0
you know, she's legally obligated to tell you she has a disease before you two have intercourse, you can sue her I'd she gives you a disease without you knowing she had it
Complaining 13
If she knew she had a disease or infection and slept with you, without telling you about it beforehand, then that's illegal.
TheNewGuy03 29
If it's been two days, she probably knew about it and didn't tell you. Go get tested. Now-ish. |the kid|
RainbowHeadache 2
That's what I was thinking. I had an STD panel done by my doc at the beginning of my pregnancy and it took a week to get results back. Same with the dad of my kid. Not sure if they can be done faster but I figure she either knew or was waiting for test results to come back. Regardless, she's a **** for putting him in danger.
rubyjames 3
you slept with a girl who still calls them "private parts"?
allforus 5
Ha ha! That's what I'm saying! How old are they?