Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Wolowitz? Bazinga!
misspulkadot24 17
Perhaps it's time for mommy to let go of baby. Because baby is 20 and baby can make his own decisions. Simplify it for her. Or else you will have to start wearing diapers and needing bottles.
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Comments (138)
error404n0tf0und 21
in that case I guess I have 2 more wishes,what shell it be? ooh! I know! I want the key to Burger king and a water slide to work!!!
Leasha3 14
If its your house, tell your mom to stay out! Talk about no privacy.
error404n0tf0und 21
ok I hope that I will meet a genie who follows the rules and I hope I wake up wake up on the roof,random but hey!
DJrEddyLeb 7
Mommy's boy much? XD
jelly713 19
Not necessarily. I'm 20 & my own mom doesn't know when to cut the umbilical cord & let me breathe. I feel OP's pain.
error404n0tf0und 21
this is irrelevant but Q:what is fast ,explosive and stalks your daughter?
MegaSolipsist 13
I don't know. What?
error404n0tf0und 21
a tor -peodo
clevercake 21
Bitches be crazy!
Jemm_fml 29
For some parents 20 is still very young, so I can understand her worries about living with a woman since you're barely out of your teens. But under no circumstance is breaking into your home excusable in the least. No matter what she thinks, you're not under her roof anymore so it's none of her business. FYL.
FightMyLiger 19
I keep a gun under the bed, just for intruders. (...)
FightMyLiger 19
Morse code for 'I have three nipples on one boob'
RedPillSucks 33
you would shoot your mom?
FightMyLiger 19
Yep. (...)
error404n0tf0und 21
a tor peodo
SweetasCandy0609 28
sounds like it's time to change you're locks and maybe add a dead bolt.