Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Wolowitz? Bazinga!
misspulkadot24 17
Perhaps it's time for mommy to let go of baby. Because baby is 20 and baby can make his own decisions. Simplify it for her. Or else you will have to start wearing diapers and needing bottles.
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Comments (138)
jameen 11
Someone's got mommy issues...
error404n0tf0und 21
forget about 1st 50th is the new challenge!
Zomg_Okay 27
The real challenge is not being an idiot and only commenting if you have something to say.
junkman6 22
I'm 25 and haven't lived at home since I was 16. I still get random visits from ma/grandma I gave up trying to win that argument. 1) move very far away or 2) bargain with her, if she's gonna drop by unannounced she has to bring goodies. It helps alot.
amifaiyaz 12
Mommy needs to let go.
emilyh77 5
Mommas boy
mkcherry 14
Install a deadbolt and tell your mother to stop acting crazy and overly attached. I feel bad for your future wife, whoever she might be, because your mom sounds like one of those crazy mother in laws who tries to inject herself in other peoples lives. Maybe you should buy the woman a cat.
Joey_Fingers 4
I'm sure by "my house" he means, the detached garage on his mother's property....
Sonfang 19
Not necessarily, my cousin moved out when he was 18, and lived with his girlfriend and her mother. He had his own apartment with in 6 months.
tararochelle 18
Sounds like you're momma's little baby!! Maybe you need an alarm system, since she probably doesn't have a key and still gets in!!
ReesePnutCup 3
**** you have a house at the age of 20?! Let me know when you need a new girlfriend lol jk
Saikon1357 25
Time for a restraining order,