Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Wolowitz? Bazinga!
misspulkadot24 17
Perhaps it's time for mommy to let go of baby. Because baby is 20 and baby can make his own decisions. Simplify it for her. Or else you will have to start wearing diapers and needing bottles.
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Comments (138)
rightspark 7
"My little baby is all grown up his banging girls... NOT IN MY HOUSE YOUR NOT says mom." Clear sign get your own place man
Mynameislinh 24
He clearly said "breaking into MY house..." Which means that she broke into OP's house, not the one his mom and him share.
RavenCheyenneC 12
I would be pissed! If you're a grown enough man to have your own place, you're have the right to have your girlfriend stay over!
RavenCheyenneC 12
Sorry I any type lol ignore the second "you're"
angelitared 27
Ur moms jealous... She ain't gettin none!
mokielove 10
creepy
Bad_Bre 10
get an alarm clock lmao
outoftown 27
If OP works for his mom, he needs a new job. And maybe a better work ethic.
erichsalvesen 13
Just...wow...!
TheChelseaSays 34
My mom would do the same thing if I had a guy over and I'm 21. I totally understand your pain!
MissB_1990 4
Talk to her about it. If she ever tries this again, perhaps you should call the cops on her for breaking in, and then see what she has to say about it...bet she won't try that again!
ansleyyelizabeth 12
Okay, so quick question... What does OP mean? Everyone is saying it & I have no idea what it means. I'm a lost loser lol
JustStella 28
Original Poster: the person who wrote up the FML.
laden_swallow09 35
Octagonal Pasta