Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Wolowitz? Bazinga!
misspulkadot24 17
Perhaps it's time for mommy to let go of baby. Because baby is 20 and baby can make his own decisions. Simplify it for her. Or else you will have to start wearing diapers and needing bottles.
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Comments (138)
olpally 33
Over protective mother. Jeebuz. I thought my mom was bad. I'd be furious if she did that to me. She needs to let go and stay out of your life. Shit.
crackpotL 33
Time to establish some boundaries. Unless by house you meant parents basement in which case YDI.
groza528 17
"As long as I live under MY OWN roof, I follow MY OWN RULES!"
RtardSupport 2
You need some sort of anti-mother system.. perhaps a better lock while your at it too.
Jemm_fml 29
Your avatar makes that comment 10 times more awesome.
Cintia07 7
Only Stewie can come up with such a system, Lockheed has nothing on him!
Tavers 19
I totally heard Stewie's voice in my mind when I read your comment.
chanellgymnast 17
Time to move!
deathtothepix 26
he already did?
mattorama 15
Derp. Try reading next time.
QQmore_fml 18
Geez mom, cut the umbilical cord.
error404n0tf0und 21
I do hope that is sarcasm
buckeyed 20
change the locks! or barricade the windows...assuming youre responsible and can maintain a job, i dont see why she feels valid in doing this.
FightMyLiger 19
There's clearly an angry mother on the loose thumbs-downing all these rational comments hahaha.
kittycat2007 18
you do realize its op's house and not his parent's?
caitlinrawrr 9
You do realize he's not living with his mom anymore, right?