Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML
Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my wife stopped halfway through a blowjob to check a notification on her phone for a game. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, my cuckold fantasy became real. I got back home earlier than usual and found my wife being banged by a guy. I waited 10 minutes for him finish before entering the room screaming. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Marzell 12
Kinda creepy. She should just go watch **** or something.....
cherries62212 16
Looks like someone needs a better woman..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (193)
travislemoine 7
That's when you either divorce or bring that shit up every single argument that you two get into for the rest of your life.
buckdharma 38
She probably does this religiously.
Dcm210 19
Time for a chat. Hopefully this will blow over.
sofeealt 6
masticating does not mean anything other than being horny, men use pornography, she was just using her imagination she might of said that she wants the other man but that's just fantasising like I'm sure you have fantasised about other people or actions you just don't necessarily voice them like she did and I'm sure didn't mean to she was probably just caught up in the moment:)
iluvpeanutbutter 22
masticating usually means I'm hungry.
Fmlsea 28
its a different story when op's wife knows the guy, the intent is there she wants him and now op knows . it would be stupid for op to just ignore it . its not like shes fanatazing about a celebrity ( someone she doesnt know /nor will ever meet), instead she chosen someone she knows in her actual life , thats going to cause some trust issues.
Dlzq 22
How the shit is this OP's fault, and how come he deserve it?
poopface82 25
I dunno...maybe if he was any good in bed, she wouldn't need to look at other guys? Not saying I agree with that line of thinking, but some people might.
Helldemon 32
Nah, there are people that will just click on YDI no matter what sadly.
insolvent 4
Oh... That could be the story I am in right now... I would be the facebookguy... I am looking over my shoulder a lot.
kl08 12
more proof marriage isnt for everyone. sucks it went down like that op. at least now you know. if she couldn't even leave the bed while doing that while you were sleeping... goodluck!
GodOfBeer 5
what's your wife's fb? help out a single dude "if you know what I mean"
worldclassrager 41
Did she notice that you saw what she was doing? But still if she is doing that everyday or very frequently just let her have him you can do better
superdom 12
:( ******* selfish bitch