Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML
Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my wife stopped halfway through a blowjob to check a notification on her phone for a game. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, my cuckold fantasy became real. I got back home earlier than usual and found my wife being banged by a guy. I waited 10 minutes for him finish before entering the room screaming. FML
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Top comments
Marzell 12
Kinda creepy. She should just go watch **** or something.....
cherries62212 16
Looks like someone needs a better woman..
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Comments (193)
trashcan_man 16
I knew that poke feature on Facebook would lead to trouble. I hope at least the pictures were of him and not his cat, mom, or favorite tv show.
Khaleesi666 6
Not a good sign..
emilycb93 12
Dang, sounds like she's possessed. Call a priest, pronto!
DARKDAY07 16
Dude not good especially is she actually knows this guy off of facebook
Warmonger_Smurf 29
"Cumming of Christ" a bit sacrilegious don't you think?
trashcan_man 16
Okay bible scholars, does Jesus moan "Oh Dad!" when he's getting off?
SammyS2012 21
isnt God and Jesus one? so would he say, "oh me!"?
Jjan04 14
Aren't we all God's children? So shouldn't we say "Oh dad!" Anyway? Haha
foxwasalamb 24
some people don't believe in God and so forth. try to be a lil more open minded
Dboyinaz 4
nothing closeminded was said...
WhatsOpTic 11
If you're gonna insult religion, get it right. Jesus was the son of God.
Death69 24
NOT a good sign man! She may not be cheating as of yet. But you 2 NEED to talk.
Genius_Kitty 27
People fantasize and ********** about their co-workers, spouse's friends, hot yoga instructors, etc. This does not mean she is a cheater. It does mean that you guys should have a frank and open discussion about your sex life and see if you're on the same page.
trashcan_man 16
When you said same page, I saw them both working it to the same guy's Facebook page. Don't think that will help the relationship.
Fmlsea 28
not everybody fantasizes about other people / or people that they know . yes rhat is common for single people , but its not often a good thing when in a realtionship. but I do agree with you on them talking , there must be a reason why she would rather get off on pics of another guy , instead of being with her husband .
rachangie 19
If he was sleeping I'd say that's her reason...I love having sex with my man but sometimes you just need to rub one out, plus after work he usually isn't in the mood. I think they definitely need to talk it out since it was a guy on Facebook though. Next time she just needs to get some **** or at least dirty pics of her man!
HowsBoutaRoadie 8
lol. wow, u married a keeper...not. either get rid of her or if your worried about money or your kids bein taken away, bc that's what women who are ''equal'' to men do, just go find some side poon. she's probably fat anyway. fat girls aren't real people. haha. cheat on her she deserves it
sezzamozzy 9
Wow, with theories like that in the world, I can't understand why we have problems! Your a douche!
JoshTheTacoMan 19
I'm coming with my .38...Should I bring live or rubber rounds?
Pasha28 8
you're not good enough for her, you deserved it!