Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML
Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my wife stopped halfway through a blowjob to check a notification on her phone for a game. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, my cuckold fantasy became real. I got back home earlier than usual and found my wife being banged by a guy. I waited 10 minutes for him finish before entering the room screaming. FML
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Top comments
Marzell 12
Kinda creepy. She should just go watch **** or something.....
cherries62212 16
Looks like someone needs a better woman..
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Comments (193)
barryhughes 2
that's when you pull out your phone, load the Facebook page of her best looking female friend and go back to back. If she finds that offensive then chances are her urges aren't as pure as some people would like to argue.
ToastedSyrup 16
Second cumming of Christ. :3
icepick23 12
Best FML ever--congratulations
StateFarm98 10
Wouldn't it be rubbing one in?
rori_128 3
lmfao...i guess u better step up ur game...if she sets for a picture and leave the real thing next to her
warrik55 6
we need a follow up on this one.
lasttimelawd 9
*first coming of christ.
zacksmith42 5
sounds like somebody isnt satisfying her...
phillipmccoy17 4
Break up with that bitch!!
cat0720 9
I'm sure OP has fantasized about someone he knows, like his wife's friend, and also people can look through someone's FB photos without being friends with them. At least she isn't acting on those feelings.
TogeBara 12
the problem is that she was LITERALLY acting on those feelings. The thing here is to find out if her facebook fantasy is on her friends list and if so, get a divorce by way of cheating wife. I would probably kick her out of my bed and make her sleep on the couch if not in a hotel at that point. If she was wanting some she should have went to the husband, not a facebook photo.
cat0720 9
How is that cheating? Just fantasizing about someone isn't cheating, it's what's keeping her from actually cheating on her husband. And sometimes people need to spend some times with themselves. In my opinion, have a talk, but don't divorce or anything. At most tell her that you think it's inappropriate and that you feel uncomfortable with the situation. With any luck, she'll stop. If not, then start thinking about a divorce.