Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML
Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my wife stopped halfway through a blowjob to check a notification on her phone for a game. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, my cuckold fantasy became real. I got back home earlier than usual and found my wife being banged by a guy. I waited 10 minutes for him finish before entering the room screaming. FML
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Top comments
Marzell 12
Kinda creepy. She should just go watch **** or something.....
cherries62212 16
Looks like someone needs a better woman..
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Comments (193)
PrincessCastiel 27
That's going to be an awkward breakfast conversation
supersquirel500 10
you typed "cumming" instead of "coming" ...autocorrect?
rosenkrieger223 24
Looks like we have someone else who completely missed the joke/play on words there.
darkfroggy 11
Your wife has some balls. If it were me I'd tell her enjoy getting off on pictures, I'm outta here!
knoney19 12
Maybe she was waiting for the second cumming of Chris ;)
ninety 25
Not that I'm condoning her behavior, but I don't understand why many people think it's perfectly ok, or even a right, for married men to watch/look at **** and rub one out, yet are getting all up in arms about op's wife? The men may not actually know the women they're fantasizing about, but it doesn't change the fact that they are still displaying want for another woman.
kasmol 16
Facebook brings things to a personal level that **** typically does not involve. In fact, **** often does not involve a fantasy about the person but about the act. With Facebook, however. it is likely you either know the person or sought them out.
TheNewMirage 10
The fact that you know the person in real life is the problem. chances of you knowing the person in **** personally are much smaller. That is the issue with most people
CooperRage 13
I'm perfectly fine with my wife fantasizing and playing with herself, but if I'm sleeping next to her then I expect her to wake me up and get me involved. And then if I don't want to do anything then she can do whatever she wants. Likewise for me.
davincidasecond 24
Hmm. I don't know. People could be "up in arms" because the wife was IN THE SAME BED as OP while fantasizing about someone she KNOWS. Just a thought.
rachangie 19
You're also forgetting the fact that not only was she in bed with her husband but she also said, "god, I want you so bad." That's a pretty big no-no when fantasizing about some guy you know on Facebook...
Nish007 15
thats messed up
frizz101 22
Ghhsbabbijj
brandoneyez1 25
Did she drink the night before? Idk just throwing her a bone.
kasmol 16
I think someone throwing her a bone may be the real problem here.
Sundevil99 10
At least it wasn't to a girl?
likice93 7
Maybe you're just not doing it for her. Pick up some tips from **** or something
Godsofdracos 15
That's a terrible idea. There are instructional videos out there, but every woman is different. Plus, half the orgasms in **** are fake, so he could think he's learning something and then fail miserably.