Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML
Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML
Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML
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Top comments
Wiringify 22
She wanted you to be the first to see it.
DocBastard 40
Most guys like pussy in their face. This...not so much.
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Comments (260)
cat0720 9
Well I'm sure it was just as pleasant for your cat.
aj94w 4
You were asleep! You're not much of a midwife, huh?
berryblizzard 11
.... The way you worded this.... Brilliant lol
Bodzy81 4
I just about went a whole a day without imagining a dilated cat's ******, squeezing out some slimy kittens and after birth. Thanks OP now I won't sleep or eat Chinese food or jello for a while.
zeropsych 9
Oh the miracle of life!!!
apan 13
Aww I think it's cute hahaha :')
sydaknee 6
LOLOL that's hilarious. Yet sad. Poor human :p
SrakaSrakasta 20
YDI for not getting her spayed. Now you brought in the world yet another litter of kittens nobody wants. You probably ain't gonna get them fixed either, and if you plan on giving them away, there is 80% chance people who get them are not going to be responsible owners. And if you plan on keeping them, why not just get 2-5 cats from the shelter instead and save lives?
Ottokiller 3
Wow...there's not a lot of grosser experiences than waking up to something giving birth on your face.
annie_nk 23
When I was in high school, I got a female cat. I didn't think of getting her spayed because my parents live in the country and everyone had dogs. Little did I know there was a pack of wild, feral cats that lived in my neighbors wood pile. I found this out after realizing my cat wasn't getting fatter, she was pregnant. So it's better to safe than sorry. Luckily, most the kittens went to good homes and the remaining 2 stayed as mousers. The 2 kittens and mother were promptly spayed and neutered.
Grimnirwher9 21
I really don't think you get the point of this post...