Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to my cat biting my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m pretty sure if I die in my sleep, she’ll eat me. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
It wasn't to ensure you were alive. She was testing to see if you were dead. I've heard freshly deceased human is a kitten's favorite meal.
FlamingColor 30
Awww it's just showing that it loves you! And on the bright side it's a kitten so that means little painless bites, I'd hope xD
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Comments (62)
Welshite 40
It wasn't to ensure you were alive. She was testing to see if you were dead. I've heard freshly deceased human is a kitten's favorite meal.
TheTacoMan 24
Yeah, they always say those are called "love bites" but if you ask me, they're more like "watch as I test the most exposed parts of your body and plot your murder whilst you treat me like a companion bite"
brenton490 19
Actually your right number one there was a case where an elderly women passed away when someone finally found out the cat ate all her soft tissues.
potuyit 10
Damn 37 that's nasty
Ms_Monster 6
It probably learned from the Discovery Channel to lay next to OP while they sleep so it could size her up for eating like a snake would.
FlamingColor 30
Awww it's just showing that it loves you! And on the bright side it's a kitten so that means little painless bites, I'd hope xD
nanner6206 24
Kittens and puppies have extremely sharp teeth. It hurts much more than the adult version.
PhantomKitty 26
When I got my cat as a kitten, I was feeding him little kitten treats. He bit my hand so hard while trying to eat one of the treats that he drew blood.
RomeyRich 22
No you're mistaken your hand was the treat
TotallyAradical 14
My kitten would "attack" the whites of my eyes if I peeked my eyelids open to spy on him.
mjsmistress 1
my kitten doesn't bite me hard, she just nibbles on me
anyagrande 31
How is this an fml you got a kitten to sleep in your bed who cares about you! My cats never sleep in my bed
moodyreallyrocks 27
Kitten really cares about your well being!!
Mightytall 35
Everyone gets exactly the cat they deserve. In this case though, I think it's just a case of getting used to each other. Young cats are very playful and anything moving in the dark under the covers must be killed with extreme prejudice :-) She will settle down and be more calm. Been through it with a few cats.
Nysha 17
Sounds like she's too young to have been taken away from her mother and is trying to nurse from you. She'll stop in a few weeks, but don't use the person/shop you got her from again.
unwantedforlife 14
You think the kitten was trying to nurse from her face? There is obviously no reason that it would be active considering cats are mostly nocturnal. Or maybe, just MAYBE it was being playful. Go to the corner and think about what you just said.
DoomedGemini 38
Suckling can be a sign of them taken away too early. Suckling is different from biting.
MrGarrett26 11
you are an idiot lol
mezochan 29
Yeah, there's a difference between suckling and biting.
Nysha 17
Yes, I do, since I've seen it happen on many occasions - kittens will suckle anything that's warm, including elbows. There is indeed a distance between suckling and biting, but since kittens tend to have sharp teeth it's easy to mistake one for the other, especially if you're groggy.
Gaernem 17
She's a kitten, she wants to play and be active especially at night. My nine year old cat used to be the same, but around a year or so he calmed down, sleeps with me every night. Huge cuddler, I think you'll have a loving cat. P.S. My boy always gives me kisses :p
sazarra 14
That's actually really cute. Hope you didn't have to get up early!
Talis99 26
The joys of kitten ownership. :)
DanielleinDC 34
Aw, no, she's just being playful. A lot of kittens bite as part of play. You need to get her out of that habit. And make sure you get her some (quiet) toys to keep her busy while you sleep. This is one advantage to adopting older cats, although my eight-year-old cat (whom I've had since she was two) can still be rambunctious at times.