Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML
Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
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Top comments
jdizz16 16
Does she kiss you with that mouth? Yuck!
zandalee 20
God I have learnt more weird sex fetish behavior on FML this week than ever before! Keep up the good work everyone!!
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Comments (143)
ManBroSkiGirl 10
Good thing you can't smell through eyes. You'd be in trouble.
MagicStallion 9
I see what you did there, because there are so many dicks around? Idk xD
ManBroSkiGirl 10
Partly, now that I think about it. Haha..
TheElderTROLLZ 15
I don't really get it...
ManBroSkiGirl 10
It's not exactly rocket science.
hatesfate 6
^nor humorous
ManBroSkiGirl 10
Sigh.
Chad_the_Brony 0
For the love of god, don't quit your day job. Comedy is not for you.
ladyLALAA 29
Chad, you are very mean and angry (judging from your profile) for a Brony. I am also from Australia and have never come a across a Brony before!
StopDropNRoll 11
Ok let me try to get this. Did you mean good thing you can't smell through eyes as in the text she was looking at. That way she wouldn't have to catch a whiff?
Keattles 14
-53 Yeah I hadn't come across a brony, until my sister told me about them, I didn't believe her, well I didn't want to.
emagurl 6
You'd be surprised by how many there. Living in secret. >:D
ManBroSkiGirl 10
I realize this... even though I wasn't trying to be funny in the first place.
bizarre_ftw 22
Your fighting skills don't do your profile justice -____- and your conversation and observation skills - as you say weren't trying to be funny - are saddening Word of advice, don't continue to try and defend yourself when it's obvious your comment was subpar, just call it a dumb moment and move on
Octain 13
73- not trying to be mean, but maybe instead of trying to defend yourself, why don't you explain what you meant by your first comment?
ManBroSkiGirl 10
Fine it was a dumb moment. Sorry not everyones as perfect as you people who decide to others down.
ManBroSkiGirl 10
And what I ment was that it's a good thing the text does not explain what it smells like because then you would imagine it. Usually when you imagine a smell then you can actually mentally smell it. Now please, stop hating me.
LaughterofCorn 4
106 - Welcome to FML
ManBroSkiGirl 10
Been here for a long time.
Inheritance 10
Maybe manbro should stop commenting? She might d/c with all her negatives.
FaustXIII 0
Does anyone else smell **** in the air? Oh, wait, that's Chad_the_Brony.
man2watch 0
Don't all chicks do that?
Buballoo123 3
Guilty.
minisquid 9
I know you cheatin' on me, so let me smell yo dick.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Smells like cheese. Have you been humping the cheese wheels again?
yoyoforpeace 14
Have to make sure it's fresh.
Lilacware 4
Exactly!!
murlocholmes 5
*sniff sniff*... yup, that's a penis alright!
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Kinky!
AKGirlinSD 20
Kinky as in it sounds like the plot of Incest is the Best title type of ****. The mom should have read them to her daughter and skip the intimate details. But then there would be no **** plot! Ahhhh lol
iStrukk 7
Doesn't everyone smell bef.. Forget I said that. Walk away now. Disregard this comment.
brackaman 18
No 39 actually you're right. I've had multiple girls smell me beforehand to check not for cleanliness but for if I was cheating on them. Funny thing was they were only so insecure because they in fact were cheating...
rdrr 2
Not that kinky really. She is only doing what every guy does at the bellybutton, trying figure out if it's safe to go all in.
tygerarmy 35
Sorry, not kinky the OP's mom is crazy and possessive. She's checking if he's cheating. If she doesn't trust her bf she should break up with him.
starflyer59 17
um no, she's checking because, oh I dunno, maybe it smells like pee? ya know, considering pee comes out of there. it has absolutely nothing to do with cheating. it makes your breath smell like you guzzle pee.
YoTengoTomatoes 7
When I read this I laughed because I remembered the song "smell yo dick" :D
jdizz16 16
Does she kiss you with that mouth? Yuck!
LolOrDeath 4
I wonder if you learned what it smelled like
igive 29
i wouldn't let her if i were op.
OhDearBetrayal 25
No, she kisses with a completely different mouth.
Acidiic 7
Nothing is better than dick kisses from your mom Dx FYL
RedPillSucks 33
Actually, when her mom kisses her, it's like OP is giving second hand blow jobs. You know that stuff can cause cancer.
Tuffay 14
I guess she likes her Meat Clean.
igive 29
not anymore...
igive 29
crap, this was meant for the one above. stupid fat fingers of mine.
onlychildFTW 34
Who doesn't like clean meat? She must like the manly smell that comes off of it. But kinky is what makes sexual experiences more fun. If everyone liked the same it's be like sex with all your ex's over and over with new people
zandalee 20
God I have learnt more weird sex fetish behavior on FML this week than ever before! Keep up the good work everyone!!
stewy133 10
You don't get out much do you?
AKGirlinSD 20
6, Which weird sex fetishes have you learned? I'm curious as to what you think is weird?
auren15 9
She smelled his dick to see if he cheated on her... Don't you watch Tosh.O?
FMLshark 12
30, sticking an iPhone up a girl's ******, for one. I'd consider that a pretty weird fetish learned from FML.
bizarre_ftw 22
51 - I'd consider that creative in lieu of a vibrator
durkagihad 12
Sucks to suck
ManBroSkiGirl 10
*Awkwardly laughs* ...
AKGirlinSD 20
7, Shouldn't you be saying, "He's lucky he gets bjs"? Your comment sounds like you don't like bjs.
iRoc46n2 4
His comment sounds like he has before
AKGirlinSD 20
43, I concur. I mean, how else would he know it sucks to suck? lol
bizarre_ftw 22
I don't believe all people dislike giving them
Ajwc101 24
Put some clothes on please.
jwa2000 3
Do you like?
snakeassault 0
I'm thumbing you down juat because of your avatar.
hotPinklipstick 24
I bet your eyes are bleeding now. Its bad enough you had to read that. I just hope your brain didn't give you an unwanted visual image.
citymayer 7
Of course it did! Poor thing...
StrangeDuckling 9
Ooooh my Gosh! I feel for you OP! EW EW EW EW EEEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!
vintagemeow 6
Not having hot dogs for dinner are you?
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Well that's better than learning she regretted not smelling it beforehand