Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML
Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML
Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
Ha ha! Oh Irony thou art a cruel bitch! Though you could have saved it by saying "You see? I did that for your benefit to show you what happens when you don't pay attention while using a knife".
Good_old_Grim 8
Yeah, what #2 said... or just drop to the ground screaming and trying to get blood on as much of anything as possible. See how careful the kids would be with knives after that.
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Comments (56)
Passa 0
How is this an FML. You made a mistake, woop-de-*******-do.
Jimboom 12
Ha ha! Oh Irony thou art a cruel bitch! Though you could have saved it by saying "You see? I did that for your benefit to show you what happens when you don't pay attention while using a knife".
LovelyTokyo 0
How ironic ...
heyitsrachel98 0
I think she might have been a bit more concentrated on the pain in her hand, to be honest.
Good_old_Grim 8
Yeah, what #2 said... or just drop to the ground screaming and trying to get blood on as much of anything as possible. See how careful the kids would be with knives after that.
NorfolkDude 2
This reminds me of that police dude who was talking about gun safety then shot him self. lol.
Peterick 0
#4 - yea, i was thinking that too! you'll feel better if you watched it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am-Qdx6vky0 there. at least you didn't shoot yourself in the leg.
bellyup 1
Your right OP,some people are totally ******* STUPID
ijrnelson 0
Your hardcore with your health and safety demonstrations, a lesson they wont forget!
Why_Me77 0
that oughta reinforce the safety procedures on proper knife usage for the little ones. Now for Lesson #2: First Aid.
Fuck34 0
ohhhhh...the irony!
kayronjm 0
"Now for Lesson #2: First Aid" LOL!