Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I saw a creepy guy grab a woman's ass on the bus, so I caught his arm and put him in an arm lock, only for the woman to hit me in the head with her handbag. Turns out they were a married couple on their way home to have sex, and who couldn't resist a quick grope during the journey. FML
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
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Top comments
pronounciations 5
Seems legit.
Zelion 0
I'm sure he meant it in the nicest way possible.
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Comments (199)
pronounciations 5
Seems legit.
MrLookAtThere 10
Society doesn't
lotto_boi 3
Man pedobear is the soceity
airforce987 20
Tell him your bf is Chuck Norris
LiveLaughFML 10
this FML reminds me of the "Mr and Mrs. Smith" when Brad tells Angelina he was married before her and she responds with "what's her name and social security number?" :~)
zombicidal 11
he just Wants to skin your bosyfriend and make you a lovley chair
zombicidal 11
boyfriend **** you auto correct you never work when I need you its like having erectile disfuntion
auzzrage 1
I was the old man...
techweed 12
AUTOCORRECT If you had it, you'd know it's spelled dysfunction
FreshlyCut 0
Yo
melikeyturtles 3
Well he said it never worked when he needs it...he proved his point.
zombicidal 11
yes I realized like a minute later if you miss an early letter you're **** with suggestions on how to spell the word
DerekBlaskie 6
Thank you #1 I luld so hard haha
Brittaneyyy 0
a man with goals?
auzzrage 1
in the old mans situation once you said you already had a boyfriend I would say I don't mind as long as we don't make eye contact or cross swords
R34luver 5
I wud say i have a rock Oh im srry i thought we were talking about things that dident matter my bad ;)
angrymexican 8
She never said he was old just creepy
karinagaviria 0
I would say I have a math test. Oh sorry I thought we were talking about things we can cheat on;) bahahaha
Zelion 0
I'm sure he meant it in the nicest way possible.
Flutequeen 0
Awww he's creeping on you....
CryMoreFMLs 15
Going to these lengths, just for you OP? He seems like a keeper. Just don't cheat on him or make him angry.
rexgar2000 10
OP must be insanely hot for the creeper to say that.... hmmm I wonder.
MagicallyFat 12
Run, run fast and hard and don't look back. Wait aren't you from Texas… put a slug in his shoulder and tel him no
ppeanutbutter 1
is that really possible?
kunit123 0
Lol
Balling_Dior 4
Good luck with that. =]
Perksofbeingawal 0
Anyone else think of Mr.Mosbey from Suite Life?
sillyboo 4
yeah! he just didnt give a **** (:
DerekBlaskie 6
Everybody do tha creep ;] Lonely island [ftw]
saIty 17
Well if I was in your situation I would have responded with "that's what she said" for all his sexual comments.
Lstands4LOSER 0
Yeah.. Because that's what your supposed to do when somebody's sexually harassing you.
ambamm135 7
And then you would have been raped for your stupidity.
SplotchyxDroneZ 7
That's dumb as shit
SadinSherman 16
How is that helpful
KatieHoof345 12
How old are you, 9?
Pixelatedpotato 28
Sounds more like 8.
neonberries 15
Ask the guy for his name so you can get him tracked down and put into an institution.
auzzrage 1
or ask him for his number cause he seems like a nice guy and you can catch up later
DerekBlaskie 6
If he has no problem with murder I doubt a restraining order will do much to detour him..
nollid7 5
Ya he has good intentions, yet it's spelled deter, not detour. Lol damn, some people suck at spelling.
iowahawkeyedave 3
Seems like the guy has a future with restraining orders, if he doesnt have one already against someone.
DrDilllonReese 12
Wouldn't they have it against him?
jasondavis22 1
That's pretty f***ed
eftup 9
******?
HideouslyHuman 10
*Draws noose* You only get six more tries,Don't let the man be hung.
thisisafunnyname 12
It'd be more f***ed if she told him his name
UrLyfSuxx 0
Make up a name.
mooocow1 5
What happens when they kill that random :(
memob123 0
I think that's the point
txgirl2013 14
I would find that flattering.
ikickgingers 15
Gizmo?
ikickgingers 15
Mogwai!!!!!!! Want!!!!!
chubby_choco 17
...you have issues.
MarjoCupcake 11
He's a keeper!
Wheredidgrungego 12
*creeper
mgsoloist 14
Creeper* Oh someone beat me to it...jk.