Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML
Today, I went to check my mail but there was a guy standing at the mailbox. I said, "Hey, get the fuck away from there." It was the mailman. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, I witnessed a postal worker with an important parcel stopping before knocking on my door, shrugging, getting back in his van, and driving away. I couldn't get the door open quickly enough before he left. FML
Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML
Today, a bee flew into my car, I panicked, swerved off the road, and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice, I fled the scene. Later, my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said, "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML
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Top comments
BIEBERSLAYER 10
gtm: grand theft mailbox
topdawg255 0
thats y u install brick mailbox
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Comments (134)
pandybear2083 5
At least it happened when you were in a good mood and not having a horrible day...
infernno 23
You have the shittiest logic I've ever seen in my life.
cheezbrgrsrcool 1
u called the cops
cicpjaky 6
that's why I have claymores around mine, wish they would do some shit like that
DinoJess 0
you play Call of Duty don't you? lol
Elphieba 4
"Im not saying video games make violent" lol random rwj song
MrXerxes5 6
What unique characteristics did your mailbox have for it to have gotten stolen? Did it look like an ultra awesome space cow with lasers for cow utters(udders?)
Xtra_Cheddar 3
that's a federal offense
BIEBERSLAYER 10
call the Feds
dreamering 16
Put some explosive device on it the next time. You'll find the culprit in the news: "The man who lost his hands steeling the mail"
a_nutritionist 10
...steeling mail? so he was going around putting steel over the mailboxes and just got lazy?
PDeffinP 0
and next on the news...mail man loses a hand when bomb explodes on his daily delivery route. great idea!
dreamering 16
45, Yes exactly. You're a real genius.
a_nutritionist 10
thats what i tell everyone.
Shannon_LeaAnn 1
I seriously don't understand how people can click on "you deserve it". How in the hell would it be OP's fault in any way?
MrXerxes5 6
#28 For owning a mailbox someone would want to steal...
AuburnBoi17 5
^ Lmfao
lyssy_lovee 4
Karma?
CompettiveCheer 0
Highclass mailbox.
J1hill33 12
or a bar of soap
eileen101 0
lmfao I laughed so hard!!