Today, a bee flew into my car, I panicked, swerved off the road, and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice, I fled the scene. Later, my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said, "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML
Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML
Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
Today, my dad was looking for something in the garage and accidentally knocked over a heavy box, which crushed the new side view mirror I'd bought for my car, because the one my car originally had, he smashed it against a pole while driving my car recently. FML
Today, a bee buzzed towards me, so I screamed and started frantically flailing and thrashing my arms, praying it wouldn't sting me. I threw my full cup of hot coffee in the face of the man next to me, and launched my laptop out of its bag and onto the pavement, where it broke in half. FML
Today, as I was pulling into my driveway, I hit my fence. The same fence that I had repaired last week because I had run into it. FML
Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML
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Top comments
DoomJeff91 2
Oh, here's the mail it never fails. It makes me wanna wag my tail. When it comes I wanna wail... JAIL!!!
boardclips 0
your father's a dumbass for giving advice like that. and you're a dumbass for taking it.
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Comments (128)
DoomJeff91 2
Oh, here's the mail it never fails. It makes me wanna wag my tail. When it comes I wanna wail... JAIL!!!
plutosaplanet 0
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
reecescuphoe 0
nice doomjeff
the_stereotype 0
hahaha! i love thisss! thumbs up times a hundred!
wickeddrummajor 0
Nicely done sir
Shuinoshina 0
Lawl. OP: You're a ******* idiot, so it was not surprise to me that you came from Texas.
Godless50 0
what kind of shit head father do you have? who gives their kids advise like that? YDI for sure, your a ******* RETARD
Godless50 0
OP...ever heard of the bee sting syndrome? basically, since most people have only been stung by bees when they were kids, it gets stuck in their heads that its gonna hurt WAAAAAY worst than it actually does...next time dont be such a pussy and just let it sting you, you'll be suprised
Deadlygadget 0
That is pretty funny lol
lizzilla8297 2
you are a ******* loser!!! Texas is the best place on EARTH!!!
Taylorrrrr 0
win^^^
PrimeStarscream 30
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!
mullet3388 16
*you're
YDI_King 0
YDI for taking stupid advice
KingHumanity 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why am I not surprised at all that this was written by a woman?
TheHeroOfTime 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Because, they have the IQ of a thermometer.
JHUGO20 0
thats the dumbest joke i ever heard,
popoman 0
I don't care if you're allergic to bees. There are better ways of avoiding being stung than swerving your car into the mailbox. Furthermore, you hit the mailbox and fled the scene with complete disregard for the owner of the mailbox. 1. You're a horrible driver. 2. You're a horrible person. Imagine if this was on a different street with more traffic. You could have hit a pedestrian or another vehicle.
chrissy888 0
a Farenheit thermometer? Or the thermometer on an oven?
lizzilla8297 2
you are a ******* sexist idiot!!!
bsgirls 0
**** u sexist person
makenaaa 0
What a douchebag. The only time someone like you will ever get lucky is in his basement with a tissue & his right hand.
hahalolfyl 0
What if he's left handed
T1A2Z3 35
Because stereotypically more females are scared of insects?
ohhoho 2
...a bee...
Zezing 0
^ LOL
boardclips 0
your father's a dumbass for giving advice like that. and you're a dumbass for taking it.
youthink_fml 0
yep
asnider 0
Both you and your father are morons.
polico_wolf 0
you swerved out of the way of a bee?? you know it would slide out the way and not be harmed if you hit it dont you? thats how they avoid rain drops
soccerkrzy 0
Bee flew into her car...can't you read?
polico_wolf 0
why would you swerve out the way of something that hit your car
katatak 0
she didn't say out of the way of the bee, she just said she swerved off the road. She is probably afraid of bees, and didn't want to get stung, so she became distracted. She didn't do it to spare the bee's life.
Jefe_fml 0
If it was filled with cement I don't see how it'd be an issue...Ooooh you meant concrete, alright yea that would do some damage.
katatak 0
cement is a broad classification of which concrete is a type.
perdix 31
Cement is a componet of concrete. To make concrete, you mix cement with aggregate (gravel, sand, ash, etc.), water and maybe some chemicals.
Jefe_fml 0
....Cement=/=Concrete....'Nuff said.
Stured 0
A keg full of cement would still cause very similar damage as a keg of concrete....
DeTard 0
Ya know, even if it was actually cement, it would still do damage, right? Maybe you have never seen it, but I have seen a car drive through several bags of cement that fell onto the interstate before and totaled their car as a result. No, cement isn't the same as concrete, technically speaking, but it's still something that would damage your car if you drove through it.
Jefe_fml 0
Yea, I was just trying to make a point, concrete is on average 900kg/m^3 more dense than cement, depending upon aggregate content.
plutosaplanet 0
ok ready. a bee flew into her car. swerving the car would not help avoid hitting a bee inside the car. but if something is in your car you may be distracted and swerve. edit this was for #8 stupid fml site...