Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
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Top comments
cahlalsteel 1
hold your breath
FriskyTaco 0
At least he didn't shit the bed...
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Comments (98)
Buzzy123 7
Pfft I bet I've ripped louder farts...it's every male's job to be proud of their farts.
AmazingLadyy13 0
God damn alcohol, it's one hell of a drug.
THE_A_TEEN 28
YDI ALL THE WAY Its very wrong to mix barry white and achohol in the same night. LEARN
marqn001 9
well too bad u gonna have. his child if he didnt wear protectiom
PepperPotter 2
Women Have No Morals
ohmandapants 17
Why are you so desperate OP? You're sleeping with a guy who makes you feel shameful and disgusting, for what reason? No sympathy here, YDI. And for those people saying that people do stupid things while drunk; alcohol doesn't MAKE you do anything that you don't WANT to do.
stoptrying 9
It does, however, lower your inhibitions. Which in turn makes you susceptible to doing things you wouldn't normally do. So having a lot to drink could easily have "made" her sleep with him. It was still her choice.. but had she been sober(if she was drunk) the choice would most likely have been no.
ohmandapants 17
Yes but, if she REALLY hated this guy, she wouldn't have done it either way. This is desperation at its finest.
abouttofly 12
Actually, if she was drunk, then he raped her. It's impossible to give consent while under the influence of alcohol. If she really wanted to have sex with him, then he could have waited until she was sober. Instead, he probably knew that she would only have sex while drunk and took advantage. (Of course this only applies to the FML if the OP was drunk.)
khaya 9
That's what happens when you **** someone when high on crack. Things get weird.
muhilrashid 4
Be careful not to inhale the fumes cause you mightve choked to death
NippsSlipps 10
Maybe he thought it was a sharing moment?
Lily_lops95 0
Haha! That's funny