Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
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Top comments
cahlalsteel 1
hold your breath
FriskyTaco 0
At least he didn't shit the bed...
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Comments (98)
xXkingmikeXx 5
Well you said you wouldnt do it again so YDI
coltsrock37 15
It was payback for the unacceptably bland drunken sex the night before.
mic203 2
chances r he was tryin' 2 knock u out with the gas 2 help u avoid the akwad conversation.or send u on the run of shame/smell instead of the walk.
Keyman1212 14
You know what's "akwad"? Your comment. I felt my mental processes slowing down as I read it...
jake3292 5
Again
ice723 5
if you just needed to get laid there are plenty of other willing guys out there....
brianod 0
did it smell like satan's ass gas?
simply_ashley1 6
You deserve it for putting yourself into that situation. No sympathy for dirty farts here.
Tookie22 5
You're a dumb puta. YDP.
tona01 16
No.
Perdition 4
None of that messycan talk here.
manda_rawrz 4
kinky.(;
onefinemess 11
Well sorry YDI. Maybe he'll have the same buyers remorse in the morning. Hope you used a condom!