Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
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Top comments
cahlalsteel 1
hold your breath
FriskyTaco 0
At least he didn't shit the bed...
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Comments (98)
onefinemess 11
YDI. Op you never know but he may have the same buyers remorse when he wakes up. Hope you used a rubber!
Buttsexpirate 9
People do stupid shit when they're drunk. Sorry op. Or maybe he used his loud farts to knock you out and bring you back to his cave. Argh!
Captain_Crankypa 2
Think of the obnoxious and gassy babies!
SinfulRose 0
****.
ultra_notorious 26
way to appear all high and mighty, but in all reality you do have low standards
Edna11 0
Lol hahahhaaha
nb22_fml 6
So then y did u?
anencephalic 14
At least you got laid.
megamandude455 10
BEST FML EVER! xDD
LonelyLoser07 2
teaches you not to have one night stands with people you know you will regret in the morning