Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML
Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML
Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML
Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML
Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML
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Top comments
lwdjaymac 1
Use your other eye :)
donteatglue1 0
Then how are you writing this?
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Comments (87)
lwdjaymac 1
Use your other eye :)
amy397123 0
@63, what the shit?
onewaystreetpark 0
#63 >a Braille lol
donteatglue1 0
Then how are you writing this?
Unregistered 0
eye is singular not plural christ your retarded
vitafabula 0
Actually, that's not true. They said they having been able to *see* for two hours, which would lead most to believe that they couldn't see at all. If they had said "I haven't been able to see out of that eye for two hours", it woud be different.
EarlHickey 0
If you're going to correct someone, at least use "you're" instead of "your". I believe you are the one who is "retarded" here.
polico_wolf 0
he didnt think you would be that dumb to not notice he said "eye"
postaltubealex 0
The more important thing to ask is, why are british people using toothpaste? Nothing is going to fix those nasty teeth!
emily_choxly 0
The word retarded is offensive. And seriously. When did you become the grammar police??
ajeppsen 25
^ retarded means slow. It doesn't mean really stupid or anything like that
dontizzle 0
if u cant see how did u type this.????
drkwlf 0
I also forgot to add why this is fake - we all know Brits don't brush their teeth.
dudeitsdanny 10
I don't see how that comment called for racism, for lack of a better word.
npk88 0
What the hell are you talking about? Americans don't know where Britain is? I'm pretty sure I do. I've actually been there as well. But what does supposed (but untrue) American geographical ignorance have to do with somebody getting toothpaste in their eye?
drkwlf 0
I'm not sure what the hell happened here, I actually had like the third comment on this post originally. Fyi, my fiance is from Great Britain, so it was just a joke. Ono.
dudeitsdanny 10
It originally said something about Americans not knowing where Britain is. Edit? I say yes.
drkwlf 0
Well wtf. I wish I woulda seen it because that doesn't even make sense. Unless someone said something about Britain not being in the UK or the other way around OR that person is just retarded themselves. .. Dunno.
nightmare1234 0
lolz!
tha69ers 0
your ******
xxLOUD 0
you better buy a cane now...how did u type this???
dianathebeast 0
She used her other eye. Haven't, btw :)
xdevotchkax 0
um. hospital. go to it.
SlashaX 0
Ripoff of an MLIA.
polico_wolf 0
what one?
TRJADN 0
Haha FYL. Put a patch over the bad eye and use the other