Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
Juicy breakfast
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Act of kindness
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
Top o' the mornin' to ya
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Hmmmm, breakfast
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Tasty snack
Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Top comments
Domonator 16
Spider: Today I was taking a walk, minding my own business, when a heartless giant bit my leg off. FML
lexuality 0
euuuuuuurrrrggghhh. i had a friend who had the same experiance. gross. fyl.
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Comments (143)
sassylady 0
oommgg ewww!
pride90 0
NAAAAAAAAAAASTYYY yuck yuck yuckkk ewwwwwwwww oh lord.. i wudve fainted if i saw thattt yuckk
hahaJillian 0
That's gross! Also spiders really do crawl in peoples mouths. A normal person swallows 50 spiders while they sleep a lifetime.
aback 5
You can have my share. I'm not hungry.
deadsrs 0
Lmao I live how this "statistical" number jumped from 8 to 50. Bravo for surpassing today's idiot quota.
swimchic007 0
I know! The whole eating spiders in your sleep thing is totally a myth, and I love how the number keeps jumping around. I feel like responding with the whole 87.4% of all stats are made up, and also how do you not notice if theres a spider in your room? They're generally on ceilings or in corners in my room, plus its not like theyre kamikaze spiders "all right men!! The humans are sleeping go go go go!!!! First one down the throat wins!!!"
colplay 0
did you know 3 to 4 spiders crawl in your mouth your hole life
heyyouguys 0
*10 man your awesome that's the funniest thing ive seen on fml
aardvarkish 17
better than curds
iRobynM 0
umm what were you doing with a spider in your mouth? and does it hurt when spiders lose their legs? :S
V_S234 0
Um... they were sleeping? Duh?
CanadianMuse 0
Yummy :) jkz. at least you got your extra protein!!!! ;) lol. fyl tho.
TruleighSadistic 0
shouldnt sleep with your mouth open... did it taste good?
SephoraSocialite 0
even though the number of spiders is debatable, this happens fairly often and it does suck. sucks more though if you have a phobia of them then I would feel bad or you. at least it wasn't a roach- according to a friend who woke up mid chewing it's very very bitter and the super crunchy shell with the slimy and fatty texture insides will make your mouth go nuts