Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
Juicy breakfast
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Act of kindness
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
Top o' the mornin' to ya
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Hmmmm, breakfast
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Tasty snack
Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Top comments
Domonator 16
Spider: Today I was taking a walk, minding my own business, when a heartless giant bit my leg off. FML
lexuality 0
euuuuuuurrrrggghhh. i had a friend who had the same experiance. gross. fyl.
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Comments (143)
brycehazen 0
people eat an average of seven spiders in their life... yumm protien
Aah_Zombies 0
Pretty sure the average person eats about 10 spiders in their lifetime. Too bad you woke up with the remnants of one on your face. If I were you I'd have relocated to another room, 'cause that's a terribly disturbing thing to think of while trying to fall asleep.
biabia_fml 0
the AVERAGE PERSON EATS LIKE 314567845454.05 SPIDERS IN THEIR LIFE TIME THANKS it's totally been proven by like some kid of statistics k bye. LOL i love how the numbers always jump too haha!
theJmonster 0
ok, seriously. someone has to start monitoring these aussies.
Thegoobers 0
Eww fyl
RockMaterial 9
on average people swallow about 4-5 spiders a year in sleep unknowingly.
aws10t 0
ive got some really bad aracnaphobia... now im 10x more paranoid
Lauren10102 3
i would die pn the spot
desser627 0
nom nom nom :V
d0gl0ver16 0
EWW!! Start brushing your teeth!!