Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LoverWordsFood 27
Nope, Nope, Nope and No ******* Way. Strong mouthwash and some kind of brush to scrub out the...feeling. *shudders*
DeathofCareBear 21
Isn't that touching...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
DeathofCareBear 21
Isn't that touching...
gte225 11
Nope.
tantanpanda 26
Cinderella would be proud!
extrasnipes 22
A little too touchy mostly on the spiders part
Wakachulak 22
According to scientists (whom I believe more than internet attention ******, though that's just me being weird), spiders do not crawl into peoples mouth while they sleep. So I have no choice but to call OP a liar.
5secondsofvvifi 21
So touching, I now don't want to go to sleep. It's like 3am though and I kind of have to. Perfect
SolarLunix 21
Pretty sure my husband would've died of an anxiety and heart attack!
sonniccub 7
wouldn't we all?
asspole 16
Nope.
theusediscool 26
NOPE! GOTTA SET THE ROOM ON FIRE NOW!!
mswhatever 18
More like mouth on fire...
ProfessorMctitie 20
more like setting yourself on fire
asspole 16
Come on, spiders are adorable.
Naggie_May23 6
What's burning your room/the house down going to accomplish? Every time I read an FML about spiders, everyone screams, "Burn the house down!" or some variation thereof. You can't get rid of spiders no matter what you do. And as scary as they are, we need them to get rid of the flies and the mosquitoes. Plus, I hear mint oil is a better, non-fire way of getting rid of those sons of bitches.
olpally 33
Kill it with fire!!!
tgodluke 17
That's horrible, sorry you had to go through that!
LoverWordsFood 27
Nope, Nope, Nope and No ******* Way. Strong mouthwash and some kind of brush to scrub out the...feeling. *shudders*
leafeon523 20
To all the "kill it with fire!" Comments, remember that the spider is IN HER MOUTH. That would not end well.
SolarLunix 21
Kill it with hot sauce!
Malecent 13
Its a "he"
okokalright 15
If i woke up to a spider in my mouth, my soul would leave my body
stingray112 24
Yeah we know what's the problem?
skippydoda 32
Did you burn down your house? Because that's what you should have done.
llamingo 8
Lol that was really funny
DamnBailie 23
Reading this made my skin crawl.. i feel so bad for you. i would have cried real jesus tears.
lexcpooh 11
Lol what are "real Jesus tears"?
DamnBailie 23
Authentic holy tears #11 .
pokysmalls 14
tears that are blessed by the pope and used in exorcisms are real jesus tears...
AddictGamer 16
You get real Jesus tears by burning the hell out of them.
nolanugget 6
All aboard the nope train.
domolovesyoshi 33
I'll take one 'noway' ticket please
QuaDECH 13
I'll take a ticket to Fuckthatville.