Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML
Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
You can't really blame him. A man and his penis are inseparable. Well at least I used to think that until Lorena Bobbitt came along.
MrSassypants 34
Luckily he isn't singing "Let's Get It On" to it.
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Comments (56)
IWishIWasObama 12
Oh get over yourself!
exoticwaved 9
jealous? Seems that his penis gets more attention from his mouth than yours.
limabeans101029 21
How did you work that one out? way to jump to conclusions
Goblin182 27
Maybe he was singing to you. you are his inspiration for manscaping.
rabid_otaku 29
I love that song... Now I don't.
StickyPickles 33
The bond is sacred am I right guys?
born_hustla 26
You need to own that thing, then you own him..then he'll be singing to you! Lol. Go forth and conquer!
theperfectchild 13
Penis is love. Penis is life.
rpitre99 12
he probably wasn't singing to his penis he was probably just singing just to in the shower alone a lot of guys do it