Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's 8-year-old daughter decided that I'm going to marry her mom and send her to an orphanage. I blurted out, "Marriage?! No one's talking about marriage!" Now my girlfriend is mad at me, and her daughter is still scared of me. FML
Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed, because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML
Today, despite the fact of being together two years, and having a daughter, my fiancée still refuses to tell her parents about us. We're getting married in six months. FML
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
Today, my fiancé won't tell people we're engaged because his mother doesn't approve, and he doesn't want to upset her. FML
Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML
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Top comments
DomoCarter 8
That's tough. There's nothing wrong with her, she's just very insecure. Either she'll get over it or feel EXTREMELY guilty /: Hopefully her opinion changes as you help her pick up her self esteem
qwtf 14
Therapy. Quickly.
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Comments (107)
qwtf 14
Therapy. Quickly.
cole_tyler42 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Just kiss her at the wedding. Don't give her the chance to panic. Remember, no answer means "yes."
foxwasalamb 24
hope youre joking
photographer49 22
#9 that's like the mentality of a rapist
Grenith 21
#42 that's the joke he was trying to make.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
@55, "joke"? Could either of you, or anyone for that matter, explain why that was funny or something to constitute a "joke"? Can you explain where the humor is there? Because I'm not seeing it. At all.
MrConcise 35
#58 - Rape jokes are sensitive for most people because sexualized violence is more taboo than regular violence, which we're apparently desensitized to, considering the immense amount of people who continue to jokingly (and seriously) suggest assaulting other people in their comments. Personally, I think rape jokes can still be pulled off with a little finesse, but you're right, #9 dove into that one head first.
FrietvanPiet 16
The-rapist?
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Rape jokes are sensitive for most people not because of any taboo, but because it's a devastating, despicable crime. There is no such thing as a rape "joke". I could not imagine being a victim and seeing someone joke about such a horrific incident. They can't really be pulled off of nobody can give a proper explanation for why they're funny, an explanation that doesn't equate to the person thinking rape itself is a joke. With everything funny that could be said, relying on something like that as a basis for a joke is just lazy and says more to the type of person the "comedian" is than anything else.
randompizzaguy 17
#86 I'm sure you're fun at parties.
born_hustla 26
Da fuq?!?
MrConcise 35
ta·boo təˈbo͞o,taˈbo͞o/ adjective adjective: taboo; adjective: tabu 1. prohibited or restricted by social custom. Rape is not something that can be discussed by most people, whereas violence can be, which proves my point about rape being more taboo. Assault and rape are both forcing your will upon another. The only reason rape is more taboo is because there is no warped justification that people can use to get other people to overlook it. The fact is, assault can be just as - if not more - traumatizing than sexual assault. We joke about killing and beating others. Are you saying that doesn't trigger people who have been jumped or gone to war? Just because you feel strongly about rape doesn't mean that your rationale is correct.
coaches 9
If you're this sensitive on the internet you're going to have a bad time.
ohSNAPyall 27
Have a heart-to-heart with her mom.
gothicminx89 3
How exactly would that help his girlfriend?
yungmumma88 10
Perhaps a heart to heart with her and her mom may help,
DomoCarter 8
That's tough. There's nothing wrong with her, she's just very insecure. Either she'll get over it or feel EXTREMELY guilty /: Hopefully her opinion changes as you help her pick up her self esteem
Classy_Sassy_15 15
I agree with you. just support her op.
annarcheer 19
I don't think its insecurity she's probably just nervous to kiss her husband in front of her parents. Maybe she does not do those things in front of them and it makes her nervous. Weddings can also wrack people nerves up extremely high and she might just be worrying about her big day. I do agree she might feel extremely guilty but I don't think this is a self esteem issue just a nervous thing.
tossaway2321 5
That's basically the definition of an insecurity
buttcramp 21
i agree with you #3 but keep in mind it's THEIR wedding. if they dont want to do the "kiss the bride" part they shouldnt have to. I'm sure stranger things at weddings have been done.
MrsDruidess 23
I think you guys are wrong, there IS something wrong with her, its not healthy to be that afraid of PDA. Will she never kiss her children in public or hold them if they cry and someone else is around? She needs help asap! This is of course assuming that shes not apart of any religion that forbids it, cause thats valid. But if shes just another red blooded American and is just afraid of it is crazy
MrSassypants 34
Only logical solution is to become Jewish in the next few days and break the glass.
tiredteenager 16
What's wrong with you
arachnophile 13
As a Jew, I can say our weddings are awesome. But still, really? Not sure I like the connotation of being offered as an alternative to someone who may just need affirmation from her loved ones and understanding.
MrSassypants 34
It was a joke that I did not intend to be offensive. I apologize sincerely, #23.
arachnophile 13
Apology accepted, #25. You were right about one thing, breaking the glass is really fun.
Ichiya 29
I break glasses wighout any weddings.
YepThatsMeee 23
It is a sad world indeed when people have to apologise for making an innocent joke on a humour site. :-( **** off #16 and #23.
arachnophile 13
#53, did I stamp my foot and throw a tantrum? I said my piece and accepted the apology of the unintended remark. Not sure what else you're looking for, so I'm going to keep on *******, thanks.
sstahpp 33
People can be so sensitive.
Peter_Ohnigian 14
You can always explain it to her Mom if you can't persuade her
RebeccaRFT 18
Awe she is so sweet. There's nothing wrong with her, but if you both sincerely wish to kiss on your wedding day then you should get her help
theawkwardlife 21
"Nothing wrong with her" how do you know?
YepThatsMeee 23
Sweet? There IS something wrong with her; her anxiety is out of control. Get her some therapy.
weveallbeenthere 30
need to work through that fast. start with small gestures and work up to kissing.
Galamond 10
I hope you are being more considerate to her condition than you seem to be.
xninix_fml 36
What condition is that?
Silver_89 9
A form of anxiety, #10.
xninix_fml 36
Yeah..sorry I should've gotten that.
SneezyBear 27
#8 I hope you are being more considerate to OP than you seem to be too. My parents were like this too while they were married; my mum was reluctant to even hug/cuddle with him while me and my little brother were in the room. It was really awkward and strange and my dad told me afterwards it always bugged him and actually damaged his self-esteem. Consider the stereotypical guy who shows his love by fixing the car, painting the patio etc instead of buying her flowers which is what she would have preferred. When it comes to attraction, compatibility, showing affection everyone needs to be on the same page about what they need and want. If this is a serious issue for OP and his gf they should probably get some sort of help; depending on the circumstances guys in OP's situation are not immune from developing insecurities from stuff like this.
dman1997 5
@35 Why is every comment you post a ******* essay? Try to sum things up in less words please.
stryder9090 28
It'll be a wedding full of awkward hi-fives
TanJew 10
That may suck, but if you really love her (not saying you don't) then it really should only be awkward once.