Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML
Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
You can't really blame him. A man and his penis are inseparable. Well at least I used to think that until Lorena Bobbitt came along.
MrSassypants 34
Luckily he isn't singing "Let's Get It On" to it.
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Comments (56)
SkullSphinx 10
In his defense, his penis had always been there for him...
ProfessorMctitie 20
Its a bond that can never be broken, it is our prize possession
kstephens2326 15
At least he was manscaping...=)
just16letters 15
Do you want him to sing to you as he manscapes your penis?
conman531 23
I know he's your husband. I know is normal to see your husband naked. But why were you just watching him?
brewmasterg 34
Uh not sure about you but if my partner's in the shower that's not going to stop me from going in there to talk to him about something or brush my teeth. It didn't say she was just standing there watching him.
conman531 23
I suppose. But I just don't see myself being able to catch my girlfriend womanscaping in the shower behind a closed curtain or not so clear door. if I want a glimpse I have to really fry for it. Course being her husband I find it extremely reasonable that she would try to sneak a peak. Ps brewmaster, do you brew beer? I do. You're name seems to imply it so sorry for asking.
brewmasterg 34
Our shower is completely clear with no frosted glass so it's easy for us, maybe OP is the same. Sorry, no, I don't brew beer, it's the name of a character from an old game, Abe's Oddysee, 'Brewmaster Glukkon'.
Exaspera 55
We're usually taking a shower together.
CaliCassanova 14
Drop down and show him what the real inspiration is!
vincent57_fml 14
A man and his penis.
LJSearles 2
I'm sorry, but thats freaking hilarious
janfleury 19
He has had that bond longer than he has had you. Sorry to say that but its true.
Steve95401 49
The worst song by Chicago is way better than the best song by Justin Bieber.