Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
Today, I went to the movies and accidentally walked into the wrong theater. I sat through an entire horror film, thinking it was supposed to be a rom-com. I kept waiting for the romantic twist. It never came. Satanic haunted dolls or whatever they were did, though. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nuked 0
Maybe get him kicked out? Idiot...
WickedAwsum 0
Well #1, we don't like you. You could have gotten a person who worked there to get him removed or something, or move seats?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (255)
1AAC 0
did he ask you to join in
Fangus 0
Ok so the film was bad, but what does the hobo behind you have to do with it?
johnnyub40 0
Pretty amazing a hobo could get into a midnight premier. Even more amazing that of the probably 15 or so people within ear shot of a insane, masturbating bum, no one did anything to make matters better by getting a manager. I'd think it's worth missing a few seconds of the movie to avoid that.
plexico 4
Good thing you didn't get shot in the back of the head! I used to work in a movie theater -- you should have talked to someone who works there. You would have probably received AT LEAST a pass to a movie in the future, and they may have removed the hobo. Nevertheless the theater would have recognized that the movie experience was damaged and would have offered you a chance to have a good one.
um_duh 0
Where's your community spirit - you could have at least offered to help him out
thisisnotmyname 0
YDI for not finding an employee to kick him out.
Lizzi_fml 10
#24, that's what I was thinking. It didn't occur to ANYONE to get him removed?
EatYourSpinach 0
this seems kinda unrealistic. if there was someone in the audience being that obnoxious I would think someone would speak up and get him kicked out. and how do you know it was a hobo.. since when do they have spare change to pay for a movie.
forrealiluvmyslf 6
I agree with pretty much everyone who has commented. FYL for listening to a hobo ********** for 2 hours without leaving or reporting it.
genius_man16 1
i call fake, no one else decided to say something? I mean, i know about that whole "someone else will do it so i won't" thing, but really? come on now unless this "midnight premiere" was scare of people. Which i doubt.