Today, my parents told me that they had planned two kids (my older siblings) and I was born because my father "thought" that he was wearing a condom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML
Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Chazzster 32
My youngest brother was also a “surprise bonus”. He is the only one of us who now actually lives in Mom’s hometown. He is there in case of an emergency. Mom has told me how glad she is that she had my youngest sibling… Planned or unplanned, what counts is being loved. OP, I trust that your parents love you.
Brightside86 31
Why would any parent tell their kid they were an accident?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
Chazzster 32
My youngest brother was also a “surprise bonus”. He is the only one of us who now actually lives in Mom’s hometown. He is there in case of an emergency. Mom has told me how glad she is that she had my youngest sibling… Planned or unplanned, what counts is being loved. OP, I trust that your parents love you.
Brightside86 31
Why would any parent tell their kid they were an accident?
Bogrbon 27
I was an adult when my dad told me his first words when he found out my mom was pregnant with me were “oh shit.” Anyhow, OPs case is worse because that sounds suspiciously like what in many places would be called sexual assault.