Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Just think, if the dog weren't named Max, all of this could've been avoided.
Tripartita 45
"Today, I was visiting my grandma" Ah, interesting. I wonder how the grandmother will fit into this… "who has a beagle named Max. " Huh, I wonder how the name will be relevant… "… he jumped on my face and peed. FML" Oh. That was useful info.
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Comments (21)
Frabens 1
How did a dog get on your face again?
RichardPencil 32
Why was the dog's name important? It'd be funny if his name were FlowMax.
sweet_ivory 0
MAXimum details ..I'm sorry
Devolution 8
You should be
sweet_ivory 0
forgive me for my sins FML comment section
Enslaved 38
Grody to the...
RichardPencil 32
I forgive you.
Kattsu 0
Claimed his territory
Tripartita 45
"Today, I was visiting my grandma" Ah, interesting. I wonder how the grandmother will fit into this… "who has a beagle named Max. " Huh, I wonder how the name will be relevant… "… he jumped on my face and peed. FML" Oh. That was useful info.
bigbadbarley 1
a young kid wrote it probably just chill..
Tripartita 45
oh good point never thought of it like that im sorry i overreacted..
MilkyPhoenix07 3
Max Excitedness, Max Pee.
Dave_Davington 34
Just think, if the dog weren't named Max, all of this could've been avoided.
Lalala579121 28
Or if the dog was OP's grandpa's not grandma's.
RichardPencil 32
If Max were a Jack Russell Terrier, I'd believe he could jump on his face and pee. But, a beagle? Only when Snoopy was on his flying doghouse has a beagle flown high enough to pee in someone's face.
niallo 23
A Golden Shower from a pet. Hummm. Normally this is on a mid-priced disk. FYL just for your reputation.
loser_mgee 2
If it makes you feel any better, my grandfathers dog jumped on me and puked, this caused my grandfather to yell at me for provoking him....
jk_waks23 19
"I choose you", said the dog!