Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML
Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
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Top comments
Nyxen 0
That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.
wollzilla 0
hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.
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Comments (176)
itsTiffany 0
Naturally.
ditlihi 0
I don't get it.
southpaw117 1
You know, I think I'm a victim of the same thing. I mean, I'm not saying that my left arm is more capable than the right in certain aspects, but my left hand can do a lot more than I think it normally should.
ditlihi 0
Switch hands, why don't ya? It will feel like you are with someone else. Then your left hand will get jealous.
hk_fml 9
lmao. Weird. does count as a FML moment, cant get a real girl to do it for you
I_Like_Cake 0
He didn't need a girl he's got lefty and righty and they don't bitch as much. :)
Nyxen 0
Man who says you can't ********** AND get a girl to do it for you? Why must it always be the refuge of the lonely. . .
24788 7
TOUGH GUY HERE. You think your a tough guy don't you? I probably can jerk off faster than you. It's addictive for men. DAMN WOMEN and there sex bugs.
InfamousRaider 15
Who cares if you can lift or have abs.
MajorLeeScrewed 0
By way more do you mean...10 pounds as opposed to 5?
AK 2
Train yourself to be ambidextrous.
Nyxen 0
Maybe the dude, in being right handed, injured his right arm during regular use at some point in his life, so now his left arm is stronger because it wasn't injured that way. I am thinking outside the box.