Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML
Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
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Top comments
Nyxen 0
That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.
wollzilla 0
hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.
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Comments (176)
Rawrrr14 0
lmfao. I guess you'll have one bicep bigger than the other.... hope people don't guess why.....
d347hm4n 0
Dude, your right handed and you use your left hand? Now that is ****** up!
tWitt3rBuG 0
uh, um... Today I was reading FML to actually find one of substance, when i realised that's asking for too much... 90% of wankers get their "stories" published!
Phoenixman13 0
Holla to all the lefties in the house
RIKANA 0
That's just gross! RI
infm 0
Use both hands, dude
MaiLouIsLegend 0
Tennis elbow!!!!!!
whomajigi 0
Option 3: Who the hell cares?
Stupidstupidrat 0
Holler right back atcha #47 and all my fellow sinistral types. Am I the only one who finds it a little wierd that this guy wanks with his off hand? I can't do it. I physically can't.
BiggieA 0
Whoa, if its the difference is that noticable, then you are jacking off wayyyy too much