Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML
Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
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Top comments
Nyxen 0
That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.
wollzilla 0
hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.
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Comments (176)
fretforyerlatte 0
seriously not everyone who masturbates can't get laid. far from it. i'm happily married with a great sex life and i do it all the time. my husband thinks it's hot.
crownme 0
Not an FML
Schadenfreude14 0
I heard there's a theory you have a strong and dumb hand and a smart and weak hand. Seems to be valid for quite a few people.
maggiewalters 17
and this is an FML because....?
liz1908 0
Note to self, bring anti bacterial wipes and sanitizer wherever I go ...
toddler883 0
if u work in constuction and ur right handed if u do alot of shovelling all that power comes from ur left and u direct it with ur right this could be ur actually answer...
if_u_seek_Amy 0
dude...nobody's d*** is that big or heavy *roll eyes*
chunkymonkey618 0
Why am I not surprised? Men...
couragewolf9001 0
Surprise, surprise. Thank you for making men look bad by acting like this is such a huge revelation.
maggie_gxx 0
#30 it doesnt matter how heavy.. or big.. it is it's just that he's using the arm a lot more so it builds muscle, you can build muscle even if your not necessarily LIFTING something. and guys this is an fml because it was just embarassing and funny. think about it. youd be like oh wow i'm really strong!! ...oh. my mastrubation hand... that would explain it. like the reason he's strong is from masturbatiion. gosh you don't have to get so worked up about it!! that's what fmls ARE. just embarassing funny moments that are supposed to make people laugh! chill out and enjoy it!