Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML
Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
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Top comments
Nyxen 0
That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.
wollzilla 0
hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.
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Comments (176)
fuckyourlife8 0
Haha, this is funny, but not really FML worthy. I'd say a lot of people would be in your position.
happyhak 5
agreed
deannamarie12 0
I agree with #1. So are you pissed off now that you can't jack off with your right hand. Get over it OP be happy you can with atleast one hand lol :P
LolAtYourFail 12
well then start doing it with your right hand!!!!!
cfbeaner 0
too bad this is fake. masturbation only works the forearm. pinche pendejo
tbj42409 0
not a fml.
KrazyKatz3 26
Guys this is an FML it was approved.
wollzilla 0
hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.
sexyshit44 0
your a stranger in the room guy then.
BenignScientists 0
So?
Nyxen 0
That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.
MKflyy 0
&I jizzed in my pants.
sonaysay 0
lol ****
fish1806 0
#1 said enough
losergirl 0
Hahaha! That's excellent [: Switch it up sometimes - you'll be a veritable muscle-man!
Nyxen 0
"Today, I realized I ********** a lot which must mean I am a huge loser who can't get a girl. FML." I guess that's what they meant to post. Though personally I think masturbation is an important and beautiful thing. As long as you're not doing it in front of strangers or people who are upset by it.
Wittlestalker 0
Hahaha, my boyfriend realized the same thing and when he told me I had to laugh at him. That's not an FML though, you just work out your left hand more. Try to find something to do with the right hand.
ba11in 0
You should try both hands, give 'em both a work out!