Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML
Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
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Top comments
Nyxen 0
That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.
wollzilla 0
hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.
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Comments (176)
PissInYourAss 0
Oh no , you should commit suicide now.
RaphX 0
What's wrong with that?
sleepy15 0
How is this a FML?
Shannn 0
I don't get it...
AnalJustice 0
what does "jack off" mean??? someone explain???
trooper14 0
100...you're an idiot. how old are you? spank the monkey, beat the meat, choke the chicken, flog the dolphin, blah blah blah. either way thats why you gotta switch up once in a while
romeovilleanyone 0
THIS IS NOT A FML nor an YDI ... there should be a "retarded comment" button as well
yaychristine 0
I don't think that is out of the ordinary. I'm a girl, and the same happens to me. AND I DO NOT **********. or do anything else out of the ordinary w/ my left hand. sicko.
Nate_87 0
Okay Homer Simpson... And 103, if masturbating is out of the ordinary, then that only leaves the religious extremists.
Agrajagged 3
Whoever you share your computer with is lucky! In this day and age, lefty masturbation is a must. Sticky mice just aren't cool.