Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML
Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML
Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML
Today, I was at the dentist's. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML
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Top comments
Bostern 29
Maybe you should have said "I have another cavity that needs filling, if you know what I mean."
carmel1110 12
BURN. This is why you don't flirt with your doctors of any kind...
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Comments (67)
Pleonasm 36
By mouth he meant his drilling tool. You wouldn't want to go out with a guy like that anyway, sounds like he's burning all his Bridges. He deserves a kick to the Crown jewels for giving you such lip; gum to think of it though, maybe there is some Wisdom(+)Tooth in what he says. Anyway, it's his f-loss.
Pleonasm 36
*tongue, not mouth
Sandsh8rk 36
Somebody kill me. Too many crappy puns D:
chunkalicious 7
Dude. Lame.
Pleonasm 36
You say that like I almost give a shit what you think.
1R1X0X0 10
Wow how mature to give an advice like that. Physical violence to his testicles surely will help op. Grow up dude.
poccocurantes 7
Yes, I always take puns literally too.
dhooks111490 8
This guy always tries too hard
Pleonasm 36
Who says I'm trying? Just because word play isn't second nature to you, doesn't mean it also isn't for me.
Smeelover27 15
Apparently, OP couldn't handle the tooth.
Daiyuki 5
I'll never understand people who think puns are clever, especially not forced ones with a less than tenuous logical link.
trulymickeyj 13
That was perfect.
Kalipczo 21
Dirty mouth? Clean it up with orbit lemon line. Fabulous. For a good clean feeling.
Charleybelle 14
No matter what
Jakespeed207 4
I'm incredibly tempted to say that in Spanish now...
Free4ever 6
brush twice a day, floss once a day and smile all day.
EvilUndead 9
That's rude. IF you *still* feel like it, fix your teeth and try again.
emilyjgraham 34
Yes it may be rude but he probably gets a lot of people flirting and some people don't take polite hints that they don't want the attention. :)
KiddNYC1O 22
Good job, Aaliyah.
trulymickeyj 13
120- Lol that took me a while to get
oj101 33
Considering your username, I don't think any guy would want to kiss you, or put *that* in your mouth, especially a dentist who knows all kinds of bacteria and diseases associated with rotting teeth. Good skin and teeth (alongside personality) are actually the two major features we get attracted to. Everything else tend to be secondary factors.
Kiyaralovestolol 14
The name leaves a hint OP
Charleybelle 14
YDI. Coming from a family of dentists. Brush at least twice a day and floss before bed. Not that hard. Like 15 minutes of your day out of 1440..
xRezSynn 15
Lesson learned: never flirt with any doctors
pradip 26
Should have said, "I pity you aren't a gynecologist".
gymnast4life77 17
Your face must've been RED. I feel for ya