Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML
Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML
Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML
Today, I was at the dentist's. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML
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Top comments
Bostern 29
Maybe you should have said "I have another cavity that needs filling, if you know what I mean."
carmel1110 12
BURN. This is why you don't flirt with your doctors of any kind...
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Comments (67)
robpressley93 8
first...
doLLe 21
hmm... dental flush?
Alleged_Cranium 7
Too many herpes sores?
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Also black and yellow teeth apparently
Gunnie 24
Wow that is so funny! I have one right now! :P But it's from a cold.
confettifarts 4
You don't get a cold sore from a cold.... You get it cause you have herpes on your face. A cold sore is a nice way of putting it. And that's nasty.
Gunnie 24
Ok yeah... it was actually from stress, but I got a cold arsewell...
MissNicky177 6
It's not always herpes. Educate yourself
shan88 14
57 actually it's a form of herpes, all cold sores are from the herpes family. It's not always passed sexually though
Gunnie 24
Wait, in Dutch it is called "Koortslip", You get like this painful blister on or next to your mouth. We are talking about the same thing, right?
CelticMarine 3
Herpes simplex 1 and 2. One is oral/cold sores and the other is genital/warts. Still same virus family. Just doesn't have to be sexually transmitted, a lot of kids get them if their mother had herpes and had a vaginal delivery.
Gunnie 24
So I have Herpes Complex 1? Hmmkay! Thank you for the info! :)
oomph_fml 25
I believe what you're thinking of are mouth ulcers.
Gunnie 24
No, that is on the inside of the mouth, right? I have it on my lip... I get it like every time I have like a little fever or am a bit stressed.
Enslaved 38
A lot of people have the Herpes simplex "1" virus. (AKA a fever blister or cold sore) It lays dormant in your system and when you are stressed out or have a weaken immune system (perhaps after being ill) it tends to break out. Some never get symptoms but still carry the virus. It's contagious! So watch who you're kissing or drinking after. These are only on your mouth and not down south. That's something else. :O
Gunnie 24
Well, I guess with my love life it will not be passed on to others :P xD
Gunnie 24
*Simplex
hotPinklipstick 24
Gunnie- Why would you post that you have any form of an STD/STI? I'm pretty sure that's not something you should want share with with world. While it is true that more than 90% of the population has herpes 1, it's still not something you should broadcast to the online world... But hey, that's just my opinion.
Gunnie 24
HotPinkLipstick- When did I ever say I had an STD/STI? : o
hotPinklipstick 24
A cold sore is a form of herpes, herpes is an STD/STI. You stated you have a cold sore, therefore you have an STD/STI. I'm not sure how to break that down to a simpler form.
Gunnie 24
Herpes is not an STD in all cases. Look, I am not trying to look smart or anything, I commented only because I have a type of herpes! Isn't that a coincidence!!? :) I was not implying I had an STD or STI or whatever. Wouldn't you find it ironic?
nelroca 7
Just because someone has HSV-1, does not mean that its always an STD/STI. I'm pretty sure that almost everyone has had at least 1 cold sore in their life...whoop de do. Now, if you're being sexually active at a time when a person who has a cold sore present (i.e. around the mouth), play carefully. Now if someone has HSV-2, then maybe they should be wary on who they tell (Personally, I wouldn't tell anyone except my intimate partners). That is a personal choice though, maybe there's more to their story than what the common belief is.
skellingtonfart 18
Why is everyone so stupid? Gunnie (is that the name, eh) had a cold sore, you can get them when you're sick or stressed, it is a form of herpes. Dumbed it down a bit for you, it's not an ulcer. 82, are you retarded, it's not an STD.
Gunnie 24
Thank you Skellingtonfart! :) It seems like there are few people that understand me ^_^
victus 14
this thread reminds me of playing telephone. it started out about the fml and op's mouth but then changed into multiple explanations about herpes...
MyLifeIsLemons 0
You're kinda ignorant, bro...having a cold sore doesn't mean you have and STD. As stated above, cold sores are not always transmitted through intercourse. A lot of people get them through being stressed. Knowledge is power, my friend
hotPinklipstick 24
Cold sores are a form of herpes, and are contagious. They can be transmitted via sharing lipstick, sharing drinks, etc, and (last but not least) KISSING. Ergo cold sores are still a form of an STI.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Walrus penis. Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were saying things that had nothing to do with the FML? Please take your pissing contest somewhere else. This isn't the place for it.
_Stricks 10
If only Docbastard were here to clarify and then rant about stupidity
Gunnie 24
Wayoo I can't believe one little comment could start such a commotion xD Haah
tj5810 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Sounds like you chose the wrong phrase actually.
sens3sfailing 25
sounds like she got shoved off the train of a guy who cares about dental hygiene because its what his whole career is centered around.
happle 21
Sounds like he dodged a bullet. I wouldn't want to kiss someone with a nasty mouth either.
dontpanic_fml 32
Nor anyone who starts flirting with a dentist after an appointment and straight asks him out. That just sounds...dumb to me. Who does that?
Eluveitie 9
Try again, 4.
carmel1110 12
BURN. This is why you don't flirt with your doctors of any kind...
oj101 33
Agreed. Doctors I know who are family members/ freinds cannot legally be my GP. Plus, all doctors are legally required to keep a strict platonic relationship with their patients. It extends to light flirting, meeting up etc.
TJhudson181 12
Come on, Doc B. probably is surrounded by like 6 girls all the time.
gc327072 31
44- only on FML.
happle 21
44- Pretty sure he's married, so unless he has five daughters...
morganrules123 10
44- He's a trauma surgeon. His patients aren't in flirting condition.
RedPillSucks 33
That doesn't stop him from being surrounded by groupies... It just turns out that Mrs Bastard is Chuck Norris, so they can't get close.
Metallica36176 16
Where is Doc B? I haven't seen him around...either that or I haven't been.going to.the 2nd page of comments..
timjones 8
He's around.
Bostern 29
Maybe you should have said "I have another cavity that needs filling, if you know what I mean."
Ihaveonefriend 7
If your user name has anything to do with it, I see his reasons.
oj101 33
That must've left quite a cavity in your ego.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Time to brush and floss more often? Maybe he'll say yes at your next appointment!
Gunnie 24
Wow that is very optimistic! :)
SakataGintoki 9
Thanks OP your username got that song stuck in my head again after I spent a year trying to forget it. :(
BntyHntrSeattle 30
That's considered a song?? Oh, God...
RedPillSucks 33
I still haven't figured out what the song is suppose to be about.
LolFMLnot 10
You know what it is, BLACK AND YELLOW , black and yellow. Okay I ll stop
Charleybelle 14
A lot of people think it's about the steelers. It's not. There's a video on YouTube of him personally saying, "no is not [about my Steelers]. If you actually listen to my song you'd know it's about my new Camaro, I'm a bit of a car freak (black stripes, yellow paint, etc)"
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Artists really are infinitely creative these days...