Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML
Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML
Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML
Today, I was at the dentist's. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML
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Top comments
Bostern 29
Maybe you should have said "I have another cavity that needs filling, if you know what I mean."
carmel1110 12
BURN. This is why you don't flirt with your doctors of any kind...
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Comments (67)
Albarufus 13
It was still kind of ignorant of him to judge you by looking at your teeth.
Tidus0 17
Perhaps you should then retort, well if that's the case I'm getting a new dentist cos you clearly suck at your job
DasHaas 9
Probably not really worth dating, as others have mentioned.
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
Would YOU like to stick your tongue in a dirty ass mouth?
zombieslayer83 19
Yeah, his "tongue " in your mouth!
Gunnie 24
I don't get it.
Dallyni 22
Rule number one: if you don't understand a joke don't admit it. You just look dumb
CrazyManNo9 29
Rule number two. Don't talk about the fight club!
Gunnie 24
Haha, maybe I enjoy that reputation :)
Gunnie 24
Only you forgot Rule number one was you do not talk about FIght Club :P
shan88 14
Is she serious?
Gunnie 24
You'll never know :)
zombieslayer83 19
It's a "Members " only joke!
BradTheBrony 19
OH YOU IZ GUD
GregoryStalver_fml 6
True fact : dentists love to look for impact bruises in the mouth of their female patients (grownups will guess why). Maybe he didn't find any in yours, and so thought you were not worth it.
CrazyManNo9 29
He's simply a creeper. You win.
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
No, OP is the creeper. You shouldn't flirt with ANY of your doctors. Plus, I wouldn't wanna date someone whose mouth I knew was dirty.
japtap81 16
1- never flirt with ur doctor or dentist, it's tacky 2- after the decay and tartar is drilled off ur teeth, well lets just say the decay says alot about ur hygiene alone 3- just cuz he's cute doesn't mean u have to flirt, my plumber is sexy but I would never flirt with him 4- are u that desperate that u would actually believe ur dentist would go out with u after cleaning ur nasty teeth?
Ellenpop 15
Tell him you make up for a lack of oral hygiene with other oral skills.
whY402Jay 12
Trying to spit game while receiving oral treatment... you must have been way past due.
wisecatlady123 11
Maybe he was trying to motivate you?