Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant when a man came up to me and said, "You're pathetic for having lunch with someone that much older than you." My dad immediately got up and punched the man in the face. My fiancé's parents had to walk in the door right as it happened. FML
Today, I went to go meet my boyfriend at a restaurant to tell him it just wasn't working out. Before I could do so, he proposed. I had to tell him no, so he started to cry and ran out. Everyone looked at me like some kind of monster. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
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Top comments
orphinz 3
Ohhhh nooooo he will eat you
The_FMLs 0
What?
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Comments (286)
bargarlm 2
Sure you weren't on disaster date..? Sounds like one.
CharlotteRx 4
She must be soooo perfect... What a drama bitch!
stoptrying 9
So HE deserves it because SHE made the comment? Yeah that makes a lot of sense. And considering you don't know these people they could simply be incredibly lazy. Quit being ignorant.
daxter136 0
Fat people poke them then watch the ripples on his belly
halfbakedlogic 6
When king hippo raises his arm, jab him in the gut mac! we have to get to bald bull at least!!!
t765234 10
Lol
gabrielleangeliq 0
What some people eat is not always a choice. In my supermarket there isn't anything one could deem healthy. I'm sure all the meat has been packed with hormones as are the vegetables. There is another supermarket about a mile away that sells healthy food but it would cost money most people don't have to get there and back. Not to mention the food is way too expensive for anyone who lives in my neighborhood to consider. At one time I had basically no money to eat so I was eating 50 cent honey buns and 50 cent sodas everyday three times a day. I gained about 20 pounds went to the doctor and was deemed overweight and told I needed to make different choices. Does that sound like a choice to you?
Lehk 9
bullshit, it's not the cold case meats or the produce making them fat, it's the fried chicken and mcdonalds and the pop tarts and the 2 liters of soda a day. factory farmed meats and produce are not a peak of ideal food, but they remain far healthier than the highly processed shit most people buy for their kids
Mokiikom_fml 8
Meat and vegetables packed with hormones??? HA!! You're so ridiculous it's offensive. Food isn't healthier because it's expensive. You fail at life.
Mokiikom_fml 8
By the way, if you had drunk water instead of several 50 cents sodas a day, you would have had enough money to buy healthy food AND wouldn't have become a fatass. You came straight out of the movie Idiocracy, didn't you?
Krocking 2
Kick his fat ass!
tls1679 0
Someones a little too emotional. Maybe she was on her period.?
ohSNAPyall 27
It's always refreshing to hear misogynistic comments from other women.
Swanky_Panky 2
Fat people bleed chocolate. Get strawberry boxing gloves and swing away
shali14 0
At least yu didn't get caught in one of his fat rolls.
alexiiiis09 0
I love how you used the word "liked" instead of "like".