Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant when a man came up to me and said, "You're pathetic for having lunch with someone that much older than you." My dad immediately got up and punched the man in the face. My fiancé's parents had to walk in the door right as it happened. FML
Today, I went to go meet my boyfriend at a restaurant to tell him it just wasn't working out. Before I could do so, he proposed. I had to tell him no, so he started to cry and ran out. Everyone looked at me like some kind of monster. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
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Top comments
orphinz 3
Ohhhh nooooo he will eat you
The_FMLs 0
What?
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Comments (286)
alisakittykat 0
Snorenax!! Body slam!
nadiel_fml 0
Perhaps you should reevaluates your life ifs you are attracted to the crazies
xXkingmikeXx 5
If he leaves her shell write another fml
moofleputz 0
where in the world is every1luvsboners
LaUruguaya 11
I love how everyone thinks they are a ******* doctor on any weight posts. Any idiot who thinks it's as easy as telling people to "go exercise" have no clue about weight issues. It is so much more complicated than that. I was a heavy kid, not because I didn't run around outside, but because I have a metabolic condition. It is nobody else's ******* business if someone has fat kids. Why does nobody else show thus kind of outrage when someone is anorexic or bullimic?
imazaari 12
I agree with you, my friend got but by a scorpion when he was a kid, and ever since then, it's been difficult for him to lose weight. People need to mind their own damn businesses.
Slippzer 0
iiim sorry... but that's actually pretty funny. lol
NorfolkDude 2
We live in a blameless society. By blameless I mean placing the blame on something else. "It's not my fault I'm fat, it's my gene pool." "I have an illness and therefore have a right to be fat." The point is, yes you can gain weight from certain medication. And yes, you can be a heavier person based on your gene. We're talking about maybe a small weigh gain, not having to pick you up with a fork lift type gain. However, when I see somebody with kids who are +200 pounds overweight, it's no longer about genes or medical issues, it's about the fact that they just given up on their health and blame other things for it. It's even funnier when they bring up, "I'm a light eater" and then order a hamburger, salad, french fries, pork chops, meat, veggies, cheetos, nuts, almonds, etc and eat it all in a single day.
dzenitis 5
I definitely agree with you. And adding to what you already said - the saddest and most rediculous part of it is ordering everything and then... "A diet Coke, please". Saaad.
dmeloccaro 5
#253, your comment reminds me of a Tenacious D skit, Drive-Thru. "JB- uhm.. ok.. ya know how you got the 6 peice nuggets? W- 6 piece chicken nuggets? JB- just uh.. can you give me just 4 nuggets? i-i'm trying ta- W- (Interrupts) they come in 6 or 12 peice... JB- SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MY ORDER! take the 6 nuggets and throw 2 of them away.. i'm just wanting the 4 nugget, thing.. i'm trying to watch my, calorie intake... " And so forth. You should listen to the whole track, it's hysterical.
jkywalker69 0
Dude makes no ******* sense
utvols11 0
You could have worded this a little better.
SadinSherman 16
Deny you know her