Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML
Today, I got stood up by all five of my friends. I had to spend two hours getting hit on by a guy because I didn't feel safe to drive home. Their excuse? They didn't think I was serious when I said I was already at the bar. FML
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
YerPal 0
That's so hot!
Gringo_fml 0
Threesome?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
sheni_009 0
I would have taken them both home and joined it... :)
fueledbyamy 0
#47, well if you don't like it, you don't need to do it. but you don't need to tell someone that their lifestyle is wrong.
Ohnoitslindsay 0
#47 - It's sicking huh? Just as many straight guys stick it in their girlfriend's/wife's ass as gay guys. That argument is invalid. Try again.
yourpathetic 0
Im not saying their lifestyle is wrong, there is nothing of me saying, OMG BEING GAY IS AGAINST GOD. Im saying being a butt pirate, AKA taking it in the ass is sicking. So get your shit straight dumbass
fueledbyamy 0
but that is their lifestyle. how else can two men make love?
yourpathetic 0
Blow up doll.
zee103 0
AHAHAHAHAHALULULULUL. What you should have posted was "Two men went gay after going on a date with me. FML"
fueledbyamy 0
your an idiot. two men should be able to make love and two women should be too, just as much as any heterosexual couple. anyway, there are plenty of straight guys who like anal sex with women.
Ohnoitslindsay 0
Leonardo DiVinci, Socrates, Michelangelo, Pope Benedict IX, Pope John XII, Pope Julius III, Pope Leo X, Pope Paul II, Pope Sixtus IV, Sir Isaac Newton, Langston Hughes, Truman Capote, Andy Warhol, King Edward II, King James I, Julius Caesar, James Baldwin, Herman Melville, Errol Flynn, Alexander the Great, Arron Copeland... When you bigots are 1% as ingenious and successful as these openly gay men, maybe your opinion will matter. Maybe. But probably not, because you will still be wrong.
happycat_fml 0
Oh, wow, the ignorance... "how else can two men make love?" Really? Goddamn, people are stupid.