Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Misleading
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Peter and Pan
Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Debate bros
Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his roommate. It's been 45 minutes and it's still going. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Disappointed
Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Unlucky OP, but quite creative on his part.
the_true_batman 10
Seducingly? I think you mean seductively. And you totally deserved it.
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Comments (251)
YDIomg 9
sorry OP :(
alexup24 13
Yes, you should be. It's all your fault. You terrible person.
loufol22 5
It doesn't look like a sorry if you imagine your profile pic saying it
itsharkley 8
Y U even try?!
cassydell 2
What is OP?
SkoomaKi 28
Unlucky OP, but quite creative on his part.
mango260 9
That's good of him, you shouldn't be going home with a stranger! Especially if you just met him. That's crazy even if he is hot. You don't know the guy at all!!! Girls these days, need to wake up. Seriously.
Pandacupcakelove 26
I don't get how this is an FML... I think the guy sounds nice and caring! So this is an FML because OP didn't have sex with some guy she just met?
MrSassypants 34
#62 It's an FML because the mods said so.
petraphotoDOTca 6
yep. nice going. maybe you got his number, cause he's not a **** and likes you.... maybe not anymore, now that he knows you're easy. ;)
EmilieAutumn 7
Does anyone ever worry about STDs anymore?
The_Hitdude 12
I find it interesting that a lot of commenters are calling the guy a douche, but if he had taken advantage of her (I'm assuming she was drunk; that's how she came across in the FML) then you guys would be calling the guy a lowlife, scum, etc. etc. etc. Plenty of contradictory statements on here....very interesting indeed.
KatrinaKitten 16
Double gender standards will always exist as long as the ill-informed keep perpetrating these far-fetched ideas that men are violent, evil creatures seeking to harm innocent, kind-hearted girls.. Truth is a lot of murderers are actually female.
Vash_41288 10
Good for the guy, when I go to bars it is to relax with friends and have fun not hook up. The nice ones are not the ones that are very drunk in my opinion. smart too for him because taking a drunk person home is considered rape in some states so it can always come back to you.
sadistmonkey 19
The_Hitdude - She remembered the incident well enough to actually recount it. I'd say she was sober enough. And the guy WAS a douchebag.
SkoomaKi 28
147 - So a guy refusing sex with a random girl, makes him a douchebag? Well my faith in humanity is gone. Goodbye.
Marcelb 17
147 - And why was he a douchebag? Because he didn't go with her or invited her to his place? Maybe he just wasn't interested in her in that way, even though they got along well. Or he just doesn't like to go home with girls he has just met. That doesn't mean he's a douchebag. For all we know he has a girlfriend and was just having a good time talking to her. Whichever it is, there's way too little information to be certain of his motives.
The_Hitdude 12
160- First of all, there is a difference between getting drunk and getting wasted. If you got wasted you wouldn't remember much about the previous night. This leads me to believe that you've had zero experience with alcohol. Not that I do, but I know enough about it to know that. Also, the FML actually states "Ater a few drinks...". Some people's tolerance could be so low they can get drunk after 1 cup. And even if OP wasn't drunk, she sure as hell was acting like it. Finally, I don't blame the guy for sending OP home. I already stated one of the reasons (double standards), but if he had in fact slept with her, and she was drunk, then she could accuse him of rape. Then comes the lawsuit/charges, and BAM! He's in jail. He , unlike you, must've factored all of this in, and decided it wasn't worth it to bang a girl he'd just met. So no, he isn't a douche. If anyone is, it's you.
paperroll880 16
118-I don't agree with you about the female murderers. If you read the statistics you'd see that males still dominate that category
pandabacon243 0
Lol yea either way if he went to her house or did what he did (which he was right) he would be considered a douchebag. Your a complete dumbass for thinking that he did that wrong
zinoxity 23
I've heard this anti pickup line before. Kudos to him for actually using it. xD Full of win. Sorry, OP.
sadistmonkey 19
He's not a douchebag for refusing her advances. He's a douchebag for the way that he did it. There are politer ways to go about it. Sorry I wasn't being clear. And how did you extrapolate from the FML above that she was acting drunk? It could be that she was acting drunk but I certainly don't have enough information to conclude that. Furthermore, what makes you think that I don't know the difference between getting drunk and getting wasted? I simply said that if she was able to remember that experience well enough to quote the guy and herself, she was probably still coherent. I'm pretty sure the "unable to consent" rule applies to those who are stumbling around or throwing up, and not to those who are simply buzzed. Of course, I'd have to be there in order to really make a judgement as to whether or not it's a good idea but in general, if you remember an experience well enough to quote the guy and yourself, you're probably still in buzzed territory ("probably" being the operative word here). It may be the case that she was drunk enough not to be able to consent but I certainly wouldn't conclude that from this FML.
angrymexican 8
I've heard that on a website with an anti-pickup line category
downtime 13
Why the **** is anyone a douchebag based on who they do or do not sleep with in ANY capacity? If he slept with her, good for him, its his choice. If he didn't, good for him, its his choice. People can sleep with whoever they want to, and don't need to justify it to anyone. Especially not a bunch of complete strangers online. I really cannot understand how your opinion of what works for you in your life needs to be the same as anyone elses. You people need to grow the **** up and stop labelling people just because they are happy within their own choices and you need to judge everyone else just to justify your own opinions. This is not a situation that impacts on other people. Neither of them did anything wrong. 222, She's a stranger to him, he doesn't owe her anything and is free to leave whenever he chooses. Sure there are politer ways to go about it, but so what? I've seen plenty of females express their views on the matter much more violently and more aggressively. You should expect to be shot down if you put yourself out there like that, because it will happen sometimes. He did nothing wrong.
SkoomaKi 28
Fin.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
God 229 + 222 it took me like an hour to scroll thru you're comments!
Jilliaaann123 0
He was not a douchebag. Honestly, good for him if he respects himself enough not to go home with a random stranger he met at a bar. Seriously that's not re brightest thing a person can do.
deransc 19
Unlucky or she is not as pretty as she thinks she is. She can't even pick up a dude wearing beer-goggles.
deransc 19
Most violent crimes are comitted by men. By a LOT!
the_true_batman 10
Seducingly? I think you mean seductively. And you totally deserved it.
ClassyCommando 13
"Today, I failed to sleep with a complete stranger. FML" Really, OP?
doctorhook86 25
I voted YDI, but I didn't know why I felt that way till I read #73. Spot on.
BonniBonni 0
Exactly, 73. Have some self respect OP, damn.
shadexilmaendu 4
Self respect? How about "I love myself and my body so much I want to go out and do something fun for myself" (ie. have a few drinks and try to meet someone to connect with) if it was a man who posted I doubt you'd be attacking his self respect. Men are horny while girls are desperate for validation, right? If I ever would go try to pick someone up (which I don't, I can't even flirt well with guys I'm serious about xD) it would be because I wanted to have an enjoyable night, not out of lack of self respect. I got plenty of that, and I give no ***** what a stranger would think about how I live my life. You determine your own meaning, your own value based on what works for you. If what another person is doing isn't hurting anyone, why tell them they're wrong?
KTC30 0
Would you please just shut up..?
downtime 13
181, Sometimes I wonder if idiots just bring up "self respect" thing because they hear it all the time from other idiots. Monkey see monkey do? I'm yet to see a decent argument for why who you sleep with or when is a sole indicator for your level of self respect.
Pigeon89 34
Yeah- I was thinking good on him for not being a **** :P
ClickOnMe 2
i guess beer goggles don't work like they use to
SkoomaKi 28
Mods delete this please, this was for another (now) deleted comment.
SkoomaKi 28
Moderators?! Y U NO DELETE COMMENT?!
CookieGirl4ever 13
Idk, she thought he liked her...so I think it's kinda FYL for her...
Angelrose2004 17
I agree. But I also think this is a ydi, for OP assuming that he would have sex with her because they connected. Maybe he is looking for a serious relationship and that was a deal breaker for him.
Supersonic54 18
Dang talk about life pwn :3
Cad6 24
What?
TheTerenity 9
45, does this help; Dang, talk about life pwn.
XxHoPPoxX 8
I cant tell if your a ******** or a ******** :3
deransc 19
you're
randomstudios 0
Epic!
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
First of all, I think it's "seductively"... Secondly, your life sucks, why would he call a cab for you two if he wasn't trying to persue you?
divadro102 16
And she might have exaggerated on the "hit it off" part.
KatrinaKitten 16
pursue*. When correcting another's grammar, mind your own.
lamdat5r 10
Spelling* when correcting another's mistake, be sure to name it correctly
hahwua 0
*pursue *too This always happens when people get cocky.
mhopper 13
Two, as in OP and the guy. This implied that they were going to share the cab.
BrianneAlex 10
Wow.. He's a douche! I don't think you deserved it
Cad6 24
In #16's defense, the guy could have responded in a friendlier way. The way he responded to the OP seemed quite harsh.
loufol22 5
22- Who said it was humorous
Cad6 24
28 - "Sorry, but I already have a girlfriend."
Cad6 24
It clearly wasn't relatively harmless, considering that the OP took the time to write an FML about it. However, you are right, it would have been dishonest, and definitely wrong, but could you tell me that you have NEVER told a small white lie just so that the other person doesn't feel bad?
Cad6 24
Sometimes you have to do what feels right, not what is right. In this case, lying would end the story a lot better, and quite harmlessly. Tell the truth, and it causes all this drama.
Cad6 24
So, she didn't deserve it?
ImaginaryFoe 1
If he had said he had a girlfriend, we would be reading an FML along the lines of "Today I was hitting it off with a man at a bar and he didn't bother to mention he had a gf till I asked him if he wanted to come home with me. FML." You got mildly rejected, OP. It happens. Not everyone wants to go home with you. On to the next one.
mduerden 18
You're a douche for being a child and thinking you know anything about self respect and the mechanics of relationships....
mduerden 18
Also notice that 16 has no rebuttal... Clearly an infant to relationships
doctorhook86 25
114 and 115: Chill, bro.