Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML
Today, I got stood up by all five of my friends. I had to spend two hours getting hit on by a guy because I didn't feel safe to drive home. Their excuse? They didn't think I was serious when I said I was already at the bar. FML
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
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Top comments
YerPal 0
That's so hot!
Gringo_fml 0
Threesome?
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Comments (138)
fueledbyamy 0
#60, how is that ignorant? two men can do other sexual things like handjobs and head and stuff, but actual making love comes down to sex.
ohhhhshizzz 0
#59: so get where you are coming from but you should have put people who were successful & ALIVE. But they are some great people. You guys are really not smart, why should it matter if the OP is gay or straight. And sick? Who gives a **** what they do in their spare time. Oral sex is sick, you weren't even made to do that you pee from there anyway. But people do it, so get the hell over if the OP gets ****** in the ass. Atleast he gets ******. @OP: Wow, LMFAO. That really sucks you might wanna have someone in the front seat next time. =]
elemenopyqrstuv 0
while reading this i assumed it was a girl author.... now that its a dude, you deserved it.
Otium_fml 3
#34 & #36, I clap for you. Anyway, Ouch... Kinda unlucky... I feel sorry for you... :/ Anyway, I hope you find someone you will love.
lnm701 0
I, like many others, thought this was a girl posting at first. It makes much more sense now. OP, bad luck, but next time don't go out with both of the guys you like at the same time!! Also, 59, you're an asshole, and an idiot. I believe the word you want is "sickening," as "sicking" means to incite an attack. If you're going to make ignorant, douchebag comments, at least learn how to spell them before you call someone ELSE a dumbass.
fueledbyamy 0
#66, i think you got the wrong number, lol. cos my comment is #59, but i was talking to the person you are aswell, cos that person had directed it at me. but dw, the comments are stuffing up on here for some reason, so it was probably just that.
Musemusic88 0
Lol, you made them gay
tash14 1
I didn't realize that the OP was a guy either at first. But it doesn't really matter... story still sucks. Maybe next time don't introduce them to each other?
laxer12 0
The person who wrote this is a guy...
missfinkelstein 0
these homophobic tirades are making me cranky. Poor young man was just trying to maximise the odds in his quest for the perfect streudel. I hope he meets someone nice.