Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML
Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML
Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML
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Top comments
GloriousWhorious 6
Just think about it! :D Maybe one day, he'll love you as much as the ferret! Then he can show YOUR ashes to others!
hatesfate 6
it looked like pudding... WTF do you think ashes look like?
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Comments (79)
icyfire617 10
sounds like you had fun!
iSurf_fml 8
^ That's ******* cute.
nucky_fml 5
he's definitely a keeper
regsworld11 2
damn, I hope you really don't look like a ferret!
HahaYDI 0
He sounds like a funny drunk guy! Be thankful that he's not an angry drunk.
mk58 31
Psycho date? I think so.
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
lol wtf
ItWasAllWorthIt 0
That's a man that knows what women like!
JustinThunder 8
Maybe it was a nice ferret?
SwaggerMelon 6
Haha. It's funny because he is weird.
ashseal 11
awww poor guy. haha that's kinda disturbing but hey, at least he's different sober...right.?