Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend heard me confessing my undying love to someone while we were skyping. He's now convinced that I was talking to some other guy and had forgotten to mute my phone. I was talking to my cat. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML
Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML
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Top comments
gosh_mate 30
This is actually hilarious, but all in all it's your choice to go along with it..
SOILEDIT 51
Wow, you're an up and coming cat whisperer!
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Comments (20)
gosh_mate 30
This is actually hilarious, but all in all it's your choice to go along with it..
zainman13 26
I just want to fill in the position for the second response and get thumbs ups. I did it for the likes. Sorry OP. FYL indeed. Dudes and his pussy.. FHL
The_Bleeder 13
Despite the fact that you were honest, saying "I did it for the thumbs up" or "I wanted to fill the second position" will guarantee you downvotes, try harder next time. You actually might say something funny for the first time in your life.
SOILEDIT 51
Wow, you're an up and coming cat whisperer!
Rawrshi 25
Relationship goals, honestly.
cuz803 46
Well cats are great things who hold great independence so you soothing it makes the relationship grow. Great job OP
TheMisfitScribe 17
While this is kind of hilarious, I'd say the fact that this isn't the first time it's happened is a bit disturbing. haha If someone kept calling me while they were drunk and asking me to do something weird like that on a regular basis, I'd probably stop talking to them until they addressed their drunken behavior.
Bonngoo 34
Even for being drunk, that's pretty damn weird... I would distance myself a little if I were you OP
RichardPencil 32
You and the cat need to stage an intervention to get the guy to AA
Juzz_dk 11
He called you drunk - so were you really drunk or did you just have a light buzz going?
soulreaper12296 28
No, the guy was drunk and called OP. It isn't that hard for someone to understand. Except you, I guess.
chosha_fml 27
Hanging up comes to mind.