Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML
Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML
Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML
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Top comments
GloriousWhorious 6
Just think about it! :D Maybe one day, he'll love you as much as the ferret! Then he can show YOUR ashes to others!
hatesfate 6
it looked like pudding... WTF do you think ashes look like?
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Comments (79)
waterpool 0
Wo-ow, what a night to remember. I guess that kinda hurts your image just a tad, for him saying you look like a ferret lol.
simply_improper 1
he never said she looked like the ferret. maybe she was jus furry
KVKdragon 26
this is honestly the first time I've ever heard of anyone cremating their pets
ambowew 7
I'm guessing you started snorting said ashes on front of him, just to lighten the mood, didn't you?
CitrusGirl 0
If you remind him of a ferret you need to shave more often.
krysxkatastrophe 14
Watch out! He might put you in a cage.
Kingspin 0
It's okay... These are hard times for everyone, especially ferret owners.
Carlo3 0
eww get outa there!!!!
misstamz 0
So you somewhat resemble a ferret?
Gloritank 8
R.I.P. ferret. :,(
silver0jay 11
R.I.P. op
TheMonica 0
Poor ferret... My bf reminds me of a bunny, so maybe it's not all bad, OP. Some people just constantly compare others to animals. *cough*
nate_msm 0
dog?